Today wasn't so great.. I wasn't myself for some reason. I plan to correct this and not do further damage the few relationships that I have. I don't why I acted the way I did today.. it was so strange.. also I ran into this pretty girl in the hallway, which was an accident of course, I made sure her stuff didn't fall out of her hands and the response I get "Um excuse me, move your ugly a** out of my way." On any other day I wouldn't have cared.. but for some reason that hurt. I do have self-esteem issues, I've been turned down several times because of my pale white skin and my skinniness. The features that make me different seem to be a curse. No matter what I do I cannot find that one girl.. every one I've had feelings for so far somehow seems to get out of my reach.. Every time I so much as think I like a girl something happens and they're gone.. is it my looks? Is it me as a person? What's wrong with me? I want to know, I don't want to be alone again. I'm dangerously close to slipping back into my depression right now, I hate it.