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Diary of the Unknow.


God of Porn
Community Member
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Why now?
I lay here on my bed thinking of what the future has in store for me.

I know whats best for me. I know what's best for my future but my heart isn't feeling the same way. I'm not a teenager having problems deciding on what outfit to wear tomorrow. I'm an adult making decisions everyday that will impact my every tomorrow.

The love we once had was like no other I've felt. I can say I was in love (and i hope you can say the same for me), but the distance grew on us. I would've never guess such a little thing would be such a big asset. I would've never guessed that would've made an impact on my life....but it did. I regret ever ending it but we both know it was for the best. It's been 3 years and out of no where you're back in my life and my heart is left confused. My heart and mind are bounded by what I now call love. My mind is disgusted with the fact that my heart isn't complying. But I can't choose 4 rocky years over 5 months and 1000 miles. I feel like this is just a temporary feeling, like the feeling of a freshly opened scab; what if the feeling never leaves and I'm forced to wonder for the rest of my life? I keep trying on my rocky years but everything seems so....not fixable, but isn't hopeless. I'm looking for every reason to shove these feelings back in my closet but every closet has a crack that let's the light out. I don't want to make a decision that's going to devastate my entire future, but I don't want to be left wondering.




 
 
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