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So today i was scrolling though my Facebook, looking at some of the profiles of the girls i used to like. to my surprise most of them had nearly the same post. all of them said things like "The perfect guy will hold is girl and tell her she is pretty, give her flowers randomly to show how much he loves her, and go on a date where they just sit and cuddle with each other on their couch." Above these posts they all said that there was never a good guy who didn't want to just use them and would do these things for them. it makes me sad and actually kinda pissed that what they say they could never find, described how felt about them, how i would have acted and who i am. are some women just so blind to the guys who aren't the most popular or good looking people? Are other people's opinions really THAT important? I would gladly get all of the crap from the people at my school if Kiki or Rina would take me back... (not their real name) what is it about media today that actually makes people believe that looks and popularity are so important? i mean, with every guy it's "Sex or gtfo" and with the girls it's "if you aren't male model hot or super popular, gtfo" yes, yes i know that's not true about everyone, i know a few girls that are different but still they find reasons to leave the guys that truly care. few people my age have actually felt real love. the feeling of not caring what you're doing or why but just wanting to stay with them and stay close to them. where a kiss isn't just a kiss, it's a moment of pure bonding between both you and the one you love. a hug is the joining of your souls and holding hands means you will always be there for the other. no i don't have these mixed up, you can think differently if you want. i wish i could have been perfect for them but i had a bad childhood. i was nearly raped, hated by nearly my entire school, most of my friends moved and never talked to me again. these things are hard to tell people about and usually they don't understand what that means for your mental state and how you look at things. 1 of them knows and still is as close to me as we were, she is amazing and i do love her but, i'm still IN love with Rina. yes there is a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone and for me that line is very clear. i'm trying to let go of her but i see her almost everyday and i dream about her every night. it makes me so mad that i didn't do some of the little things to show her i love her. there isn't a single way i could be mad at her for breaking up with me though, it's how she felt. i wasn't doing enough. she didn't think we were doing enough couple activities. if you end up reading this Rina, Im sorry.

Well everyone, if you read all of this, i am impressed. plus, if you read any of my previous or future writing, please leave a comment so i know you read it. i'd like to know if this actually gets read or not. thanks everyone. bye!