Dear Daughter,
Sarah, we met on gaia, at first you thought I was a girl.. You somewhat asked me out the first time you found out I was a dude, 'I really didn't know you were a guy, I mean I would have totally dated you' We did date on here for a day or so, but my heart wasn't yours at the time which sorta broke us up. At the time you were admitting you had a crush on an Andy fellow. Which is when I asked to be your dad. I was pretty glad you accepted that, because I was glad for the chance to get to know you, grow close to you, and develop a bond that I thought would last. Soon though you and I disappeared from gaia for a while, when I came back you were with Jo jo. We still had some good times after that, but it always seemed you rushed into another relationship, without giving me the chance. A little time with me then onto the next one, I was madly in love with you at this point and whenever you dated I tried to do likewise. Like, oh.. she is going to go date an Epic Panda, I might as well will displace my feelings onto Tears.. It was hard for me when you decided to delete me, on msn and other places, then avoid talking to me because you felt my faces were 'emo'. It felt like you wanted me out of your life. When you accepted me back after I said something about it, you started dating Lone. And I disappeared again, my computer somewhat died actually. But when I came back you were lovely dovey on me again, trying to spend as much time as you could with me, this seriously made me feel like the happiest person in the world. Yet you were also still always with someone else, which made me confused. Like you wanted me around having feelings for you but didn't want to have me as yours. You tried to open up, play dirty with me and other stuff. You admitted a story from your past to me, and felt that I fibbed to you, which somewhat drove us apart for a time I couldn't really believe you could think that I'm a person who could tell others deep secrets. I never lied to you when I said 'I didn't tell anyone.' In fact the only lie I regret ever telling you is that I work in a pet store.. you will never let me live that down. 'what do you do for a living' '.....I feed/take care of animals' 'like at a pet store' 'yeah' I couldn't admit to you at the time that I work at mcdonalds again after spending years in college, felt somewhat degrading. Next time you tried to open up to me it was when we were listening to music... you gave me a depressing song, through msn. I'm sorry that I pay attention to people talk even when I'm talking to you, you wanted all my attention on the song, and I played it 5 good times through and you would just complain about me not listening to it, not being there for you? 'I'll never try to open up to you again' that really hurt... You were seriously the only one that mattered at the time, soon after I thought I proved that by forgetting about gaia and joining your Luna game with you.
Luna was good the first day, we played together, beat monsters, had fun. =w= When I first logged into the computer the second day, you would be 'oh luna has houses and farms and fishing too', I saw something like that on the skillls screen but I wanted time to experiment with you. Now it seemed I had to learn everything myself. o.e 'I'm level 20 now, because I went into a dungeon, lets go to a dungeon.' Oh ********, I realized at that moment you kinda wanted to be addicted to that game just like you were addicted to gaia, And I was on far less than you...I realized that you would be higher level than me no matter how much you tried, and soon I would be useless to you. We went on the dungeon date anyways, then you 'crafted' which I had no clue how to do yet, so I had to spend an hour looking up on google, and figuring stuff out for myself. -feels slow- Seriously at that point I didn't even know if I had stat points I could invest yet (into str/dex/vit/wis/int). -newb-
you ended the second day treating me like 'I'm not talking to you anymore. -.-'
The next day you were trying to level me up, tried to keep me working on the game, although you were already 10 levels ahead of me. 'you know eventually you will be way higher level than me' 'I know you can level my pet' ...That hurt... because in the game I wouldn't gain any experience for partying with you when you are higher level, I felt like I would just be a nuisance. I would stay the same boring low level. I tried to play, to train a few hours each day from then on.
The next time I saw you you were with Jo jo, he was leveling with you, you were helping him level on mid level monsters, and I training by myself never got your 'private messages' So I just thought you were abandoning me. And since jo jo can level with you, because he can spend more time on with you.. he is a better choice to be active in this game with. So I felt happy that you had someone to play with. But you still insisted on pwning me 3 times in a row in battle.. to prove that I'm a weakling, I guess jo jo meant a lot more to you than I did. I had to solo for my time on the computer every day before work, learning the game all by myself, no message from you, no talking to you or anything. I tried my hardest being level 55 when you were level 68/72. It felt like you were abandoning me. And if you felt like it was 'good back then' I guess I should have left it be and left you happy playing alone with jo jo instead of sending you an IM to voice my concerns 'Then I guess I won't see you anymore, I tried my hardest and I'm only 55.' The next day you broke the 75 threshold and I was still 58... Felt hurt. You left me in the dust.. So I decided just not worry about levels anymore, I mean you would level up faster than me no matter what I do. So.. I decided to try to use the game just to have time with you. But you were growing further apart even then, 'at least call me dad?' '-.-' -sigh- You got annoyed with me easily, just because I wanted to keep tabs on you, to try to talk to you when I had the chance, and all you would do is tell me something like 'you are annoying me' or 'o.o' '=u=' It was hurtful, because all I wanted was one good convo with you, and the only route of communication you left to me was whispers on a game. I wasn't playing gaia at the time or anything, just trying to play with you/ have fun with you, thus you were my only reason for being on. You were the only friend that mattered to me.. I tried confronting you about it. 'You know what I realized yesterday, you are the only reason I have been logging on for, and all I get from you is annoyance?' 'then you better find something else to log on for' Pretty much everything, every day with you turned out hurtful at this point. So that's how it had to end.
Love,
Dad
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