I Miss Bobby.
Yup, Its true.
Ive gone about .... A month without missing him, Thinking about him, Talking to him and everything that deals with him. I was even talking MAJOR crap about him.
And today, I just so happen to have a ton of time on my hands.
And what do i do with all that time?
Well, I DIDN'T use that time to do late homework, clean my room, read, or do anything productive with myself.
Instead, what i decide to do with my ton of spare time, Is this:
Sit on my bed, back against the wall, And listen to sad songs.
When the songs are over, I thought about which one of my friends the song reminded me about, And one of the songs just so happened to remind me of him.
Wonderful, Rite? Yup. Totally.
And after i got reminded of him, I started thinking about him.
And god, I mean i started to REALLY think about him. But not just about him, About everything attached to him, Like MEMORY'S and stuff. nothing gross. >_____>'
But anyways, I thought about everything.
How it felt to be in his arms,
Talking to him for Two hours every night on the phone before bed,
All the inside jokes,
Memory's of before we started dating, like in Northbranch and at my Grandmas house and at the Park.
Also memorys of when we were dating,
Like hanging out at my house,
Hanging out at the park in Lapeer,
Standing like 10 feet away from the train and watching it go by at sunset,
And suddenly, I felt a pain in my heart.
Like i was being drained and stabbed. And it hurt.
I felt empty.
I felt stupid for admitting it, But i missed him. I missed his hugs. I missed watching the train go by with him everyday. I miss talking to him before bed. I miss my ex-boyfriend.
And i started to cry.
I wanna tell my bestfriend sister about how i miss him and everything, But she'll be soo dissapointed in me...
I promised her id never go back to him, Never talk to him and never EVER date him ever again.
Cause he hurt me, bad.
But i can't bare it anymore, It seems like one day he'll just pop up at my window after school one day and ask me to hangout with him, Like he always used to. He never went to the door, He just went straight to my window. Kinda creepy rite? Yeah i thought so too. But it was funny.
And the more i want it to happen, The more it hurts because i know he wont be there at my window.
But i guess i just have to suck it up and just hope things will get better.
Or if things get to bad, I can just call send him a message on Facebook, Cause god knows im way to scared to call him and talk to him about how i miss him and desperately want him back.
OH, Which reminds me.
He's alloud in lapeer now. Which makes me wanna see him even more.
Cause not once has that bastard been to my house or even talked to me since he's been aloud back in Lapeer.
I guess thats all the venting i need to do for now,
· Wed Nov 02, 2011 @ 12:45am · 0 Comments