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This journal was horneted in 1996. XD
I feel worse now...
I almost feel like I'm ready to die.
Like I have no other purpose for living.... that I've done everything I wanted to do that I could....
I just don't know any more....
Every day it's the same-- get up, go to school, go to work, come home, do nothing...
Occasionally I'll get to hang out with friends who I know in real life. It helps, but for the most part, I feel like a lost cause.. I'm not as hungry as I used to be, I'm noticing that I'm starting to lose track of what day it is, probably because every day is identical now. It's like an endless loop of the same day over and over again, with maybe a few slight variations to it...
I don't feel like living this way any more... I either hope something drastic and exciting happens to me soon, or else I'd much rather be dead....... as terrible and nonsensical as that sounds, that's what I'm feeling inside right now.

The most I ever feel happy is when I am spending time with some of my good friends, or when I'm spending time with the family.

My job has taken a turn for the worse. All the people I was close to and friendly with have left. For the most part now, working at Stop and Shop for me is nothing but boring... Angela is an okay manager, she says hi to me and is nice. But nowadays I work with more negative faces than friendly ones... Even Danni, Ryan's girlfriend, is not especially enjoyable to work with... She makes for a good friend-- not a good co-worker... :/

As sad as this sounds, I'm pretty much ready to say goodbye to the world...
I have no real desire to live anymore..... The girl whom I'm deeply in love with is the one person I'm almost never in contact with, I feel like all I really ever do is what everyone else wants me to do, I feel like I'm missing out on many elements of life, and I feel like I wasn't meant to amount to anything..........

Man, do I hope I'm wrong......... .w.





 
 
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