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Captain's Log
Depression?
Back in middle school there was a group of peers that would help people who just needed someone to talk too, about school, home or just life. Back then I never got that life was great, sure some things where hard but never wanting to do somthing like hurt myself. Back then life was great, so what happen. As far as life is corcend everything is the same as back then, isn't? There is still school family and friends and stress, I do not have to worry about rent or most bills, I have a job and decent income. So why do I want to rip apart my body, why do I want just go to sleep and never wake up. Why cann't things be like middle school, I was happy then, now those times seem like a dream, I am the person that I could not comprehend as a fourteen year old, and I don't know how too not be this person. Someone who only knows how to complain, argue and cry when no one is looking. Who does not want to anything but wish things will get better. I trynot to procracinate, do things as they need to be done, but it takes time to get it done. I find myself walking away from something and stopping to turn around to finish what I start but somehow keep walking away saying I will do it later, then later becomes too late. I hate myself right know, I want to take a knife to my skin, something that I never would of thought of doing only three years ago. I miss my friends and energy, I am tired of drowning I need to learn to swim soon, if I do not I don't know what will happen but what ever it will be it will not be good.





 
 
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