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So, I came up with a project for myself to slowly ease into for ... getting things out that I think are better left unsaid to my friend. I always hate to talk about relationships or crushes that I have so I think this will be a good way to vent, plus it will prepare for a gift. This friend, is Dev. I know you say that you don't mind, but I think it bothers me that I lean on you for this. I don't think I like leaning on anyone too much. I ... I'm so emotional that I really do worry that it rubs off on you. I suppose I'm being overprotective of you. I know you can protect yourself and that you're a big girl, growing up all on your own. Truly, I am so... proud. You're beautiful and so strong. You've grown so much but you're still able to hold onto your good traits. I wonder if you're scared of growing up sometimes, cause you seem to just blaze through things... even when they scare you. Is it because of the friends you have? Or is it the new found confidence in yourself since being freed? DO you ever feel your sister dragging you back towards the past?

I go back home ... tomorrow or today. However you want to count it. I can already feel the creativity bubbling in me. I can imagine new designs and coding. I'm so excited. I'm almost.... scared I'll start shaking ^^ Oh so happy. I ... I'm just simply happy. Over-joyed to be going home. Home. =w=

So before I go home I drop my cousin at the airport. It's been a crazy time with her. She has this terrible habit of poking me T___T but they are PAINFUL T___T I tell her to stop but... she's 13 so ... I think she just focuses on how fun it is. [/ sigh] But she's able to pick up on my mood swings of irritation owo she's so much older now... going into high school. SO OOOOOOOLD. I watched over her when she was a baby. I love her so much. Her hugs.... melt into me.

She has exhausted me though. I had a ton of things I needed to get done but she just wears me out so that at night all I can do is sleep. Had to pay for my school tonight, right before leaving cause she finally went to bed and I took a nap today =A= I NEEDED IT. My mom FINALLY let me take one. >.> my parents blame naps for my mood swings but really, I'm just so worn the ******** out. If they let me take naps, maybe I wouldn't be as snappy at times... w/e they just have bad, bad memories with me and mood swings. We won't talk about that though.. no no. NO we won't.

[/ sigh] But yes, I had a great time with my cousin. We came to realize last year I didn't go visit them ;____; so I really have only seen them once a year if even that. How sad. Connecticut is so lovely and they are... wealthy >,> they have a new house I haven't seen. I wonder if I even want to see it... I have so many memories with the old house. I'll miss it for sure. I'm sure the new place would be fun too ^^ I'll like it too <3 They live there after all XDD

I'm going to miss her.

My first day of school is Tuesday. I have night classes Tues and Thur. MWF I have morning classes so I can be on all night. Will be a nice schedule. I've got to really excel this semester, push past all my s**t. I can't let myself down this time! I really want to do well <3