I changed my mind, I don't like him anymore and I'm pretty sure I hate his face.
A lot has happened, that really just killed me in what was rebuilding and that really sucks. :l

I'm not going to tell the exact story but something that I took out of it that really makes me feel like crap/"if I was Rena he would be dead by now" (When They Cry)
As much as I'd like to believe that he's out of my life, he's a friend of a friend so I do know that I have to see his face >:l but because I'm not selfish I'll tolerate it -_-

Anyways, I guess I have talk about this in every process that I have, which is really in practically all my journals.

I'm not going to explain the story nor tell it again, because I want it to be like it never exist. But the thing that I hate the most about this is that now things that were rebuilding are now forever in never ending spiral of doubt. So I think it's safe to say that my heart's no longer on a line but dead and killed so there's no chance of it making it through what was or what could be.

Such a drama dork, if only, if only I wasn't so messed up maybe life would be easier...? Nope. So much doubt, so little confidence, and so great the chances of ..........


</3 Fairy