Looking at that last entry, I can get pretty down.
It's kinda like when you white out, your world has this humming that tricks you into believing there is no other sound out there. And it overcomes you, taking your feet from right under you. When you wake, it takes a while to regain your senses but not as long as it takes you to remember what happened. Most of it is just... white in your memory. Nothing like the reality.
When I went into that place, in my mind, I ignored all the good things. I know there are amazing good things. I did good though to stop myself and pick up the lock. To remember the good things she has done and ways she doesn't hurt me anymore. That was good. It showed me how wrong I was. So I had a margarita and got over myself. I went to the movies and played Pac Man. Little by little I became more like myself and forgot the loathing and seething anger. And now, I'm patiently waiting for the climb to the top. Things are going to get good again. I won't let it drop, not yet.
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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
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