||Stuff taken from my profile to make it smaller
El dolor, el Sufrimiento, viene todo en uno.
A la mano tan la tarea se hará le hace deberes como yo le
pregunto porque no hay mucho tiempo para mí ni para usted
Mis demonios, mis maldiciones, regresan a mí. Regrese y excape de le Para el humano no está listo para el
poder Ahora regresa, regresa ahora, mi poder
How to Rule the World
So you wanna rule the world? Good for you! So many people wander aimlessly across the Internet with no goals in mind, and here you are brimming with hope, looking to the future, and planning to enslave every man, woman, and domestic animal on the face of the earth. My hat is off to you! You stand as a beacon of hope for the youth. The children look to you as a dynamic leader, and you're doing an excellent job.
You should be aware that the path ahead will be tricky. Dangers will await you on every side. In this respect, your quest will be much like surfing the Internet. But don't be discouraged, for you hold in your metaphorical hands a sure-fire guide to Total World Domination. All you have to do is follow these steps and you are absolutely 100% guaranteed to end up personally deciding the fate of every single one of the billions of people in the world. All I ask is that you rule kindly, and maybe set me up as Grand Vizier or something.
Step One: Seize Control of a Country
Oh, relax. It doesn't have to be a large one. All you need is to pick out a country, any country, and take control of it. This will be your base of power, and will be how people think of you. If you take control of Canada, you will shortly be known as the Canadian Madman or something. It might be a good idea to pick a country with a short, punchy name, because if you become the tyrannical ruler of Trinidad and Tobago, the people on CNN will have a hard time summing you up in those catchy "Crisis in the Caribbean" graphics.
A few good ways to take over a country are:
1. Violence. This is tried and true. An AK-47 in the ear will discourage even the most "reluctant" president from hanging around where he's not wanted. You might want to bring along a ruthlessly vicious and terrifyingly loyal army when you stage your coup, or the old president's army might object. And remember, the old army is almost certainly better-paid and better-equipped than yours is.
2. Work From Within. If sudden violence isn't your thing, you can always follow the rules. Some countries have whole Constitutions full of ways that any Joe Random Lunatic can end up in charge. And almost all countries have bureaucracies through which you can rise until you end up in a position even more powerful that the supposed Czar. On the other hand, his method is long, slow, and boring. And with one wrong move, you could find yourself stuck in the Department for the Realignment of Lemmings, Gophers, and Trash Cans.
3. Bribery. If you have the funds, you could just up and buy the current powers that be. It's quick, it's efficient, and best of all, it doesn't hurt anybody's feelings. Unless you forget to grease everyone in sight. So many attempted power-grabs have failed because one key person felt left out.
Step Two: Declare War on your Neighbors
Okay, so you own a small chunk of the planet. Big deal. This is no time to rest on your laurels. There's dozens of countries out there. Maybe hundreds. I didn't count them, but the CIA World Factbook has thirteen and a half screensful. No, wait, I found another site that says there's 191. So that's a lot, and all you control is one country. Your great journey has just begun. Remember: There are many countries and they will all be yours.
So the first thing to do is declare war on your neighbors and seize control of them quickly and efficiently, with as little blood and bad feeling as possible. You'll want to continue this until you control an entire continent. That's when you know you're really getting somewhere. Well, unless it's Antarctica or Australia. I mean no disrespect to Australia, you understand; it's just that it seems like one of the easier continents to rule. Right now, for example, somebody named "John Winston Howard" appears to be in charge of the place, unless you buy that story about Queen Elizabeth II.
Step Three: Incinerate New York City
This is not really vital for World Domination, but let's face it: this should have been done decades ago.
Step Four: Continue Your Hunlike Rampage With Murderous Efficiency, Sweeping Across the Globe, Claiming Country After Country Until At Last There Is Nowhere That Is Immune To Your Wrath
Congratulations! You rule the whole world! But . . . could it be? Might there be . . . life? On other planets? Could they be conspiring with the rebel forces on this planet? For there are rebel forces, make no mistake about that. They're conspiring in the back alleys against you. They resent you for showing them how easy world domination is for someone with gumption. The evil ones, they're trying to depose you. They're working from the inside and outside. And now they've got extraterrestrial help! Something must be done.
Step Five: Begin Raining Nuclear Bombs on the Planet, Destroying Those Who Would Destroy You
Ha! Take that, Europe! So long, Asia! No you're safe! Now that it's just you! You and your trusted advisor George. But can George really be trusted. He's been looking at the skies oddly . . . perhaps he's in league with them?
Step Six: Shoot George in the Head
There! That should do it! Now you're the only one in the world! You're the King! You're the Emperor! You're -- hey! What are these little green people? Aiieeee! The Andromedans! They've come for you! Nooooooo!
Step Seven: Live Out the Rest of Your Miserable Existence in Miserable Slavery in a Different Galaxy
Nice going, bonehead!
Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree
Fig Tree (Sensibility) -- very strong minded, a bit self-willed, honest, loyal, independent, hates contradiction or arguments, hard worker when wants to be, loves life and friends, enjoys children and animals, sexually oriented, great sense of humor, has artistic talent and great intelligence.
19 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with
sunglasses on and point a hairdryer t passing cars.
See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise
3. Every time someone asks you to do something,ask if
they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once
everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions,
switch to Espresso.
6. In the "Memo" field of your checks, write "For
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat. Do
this with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area & play
tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't
attend their party because you are not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Bottom."
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream, "I
won! I won!"
18. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the
parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives! They're
19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the
economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
What GIRLS really mean when they type in....
[ Blue -- I'm feeling' HORNY
Pink -- SEXY
Red -- I LOVE YOU
Green -- Feeling a little CRAZY
Orange -- I'm HAPPY
Yellow -- SAD
Purple -- Feeling Girly
Aqua -- Moody
What she REALLY means when she says...
I don't like you. (But she still flirts with you) -- I LOVE YOU
Call you tomorrow. -- I AM NEVER CALLING YOU AGAIN
Like the shirt. -- It would look better on my boyfriend.
Don't leave me. -- I WANT YOU
I like your new hair-cut.. -- YOU ARE TOTALLY HOTT
I like you pants. -- I'd rather be in them with you.
What she means when she touches you...
On the Leg -- I want you bad
On the face -- I want to make-out
The Arm -- Hold My Hand
The Neck -- I want a kiss
>>>SAGITTARIUS<< > Spontaneous. >Horny. >Freak in Bed. >High sex appeal. >Rare to find. >Great when found. >Loves being in long relationships. >The one >So much love to give >Not one to mess wit >Very pretty. >Very romantic. >Nice to everyone They meet. >Their Love is one of a kind. >Silly, fun and sweet. >Have own unique sexiness. >Most caring person you will ever meet! >Amazing n Bed..!!! >Did I say Amazing in Bed? >not the kind of person you wanna ******** with ,u might end up crying
When you say God has left us and forgotten us, did you ever think back to see if you've done anything for him? God isn't to be taken advantage of
Hey!! I got an idea!! Let's take a look at more Zoro!! x3
Humanity's values and respect is decaying into the dirt along with it's past. Get it back before it's gone
When you want everything, what are you going to do when you have it all?
Love can be a handful and is extremely hard to take care of. It's a fragile creature that always needs tending but in return it gives you the best joy one can receive. Will you cherish it?
What will you do when you're surrounded by death with one way out: To deny what you believe in. Will you stick with your faith and die or will you dishonor yourself for your life
Abortions cost a lot of money. Wouldn't it be cheaper to take a bus and place it in a orphanage?
You know how you're attracted to a specific type of person, but you are not their type at all? God, shine light on stereotypes. They'll be the death of us.
Aren't these just adorable?? =3
I gave up on the Katana I was going to get but then a voice from God, AriettaLuzu, told me not to give up. So now I saved the money, sold some crap and bought my awesome Katana of Doom!! x''D
Here are some quotes:
"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."
"Remember, remember, the fifth of November, The gunpowder treason and plot. I know of no reason why the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot"
"We are told to remember the idea, not the man. Because a man can fail. He can be killed and forgotten. But four hundred years later an idea can still change the world. I've witnessed firsthand the power of ideas. I've seen people kill in the name of them; and die defending them. But you cannot touch an idea, cannot hold it or kiss it. An idea does not bleed, it cannot feel pain, and it does not love. And it is not an idea that I miss, it is a man. A man who made me remember the fifth of November. A man I will never forget."
"It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years I had roses and apologized to no one. I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one. An inch. It is small and it is fragile and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must NEVER let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the worlds turns, and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you"
" The building is a symbol, as is the act of destroying it. Symbols are given power by their people. By itself, a symbol is meaningless, but with enough people, blowing up a building can change the world"
"When all your bullets are gone, I better not be standing, because you'll all be dead before you reload"
"Evey Hammond: Who...who are you?
V: Who? Who is but the form following the function of what. And what I am, is a man in a mask.
Evey Hammond: I can see that.
V: Of course you can. I'm not questioning your powers of observation, I'm merely remarking on the paradox of asking a masked man who he is"
"Here is a face beneath this mask but it's not me. I'm no more that face than I am the muscles beneath it or the bones beneath them"
"He was Edmond Dantés... and he was my father. And my mother... my brother... my friend. He was you... and me. He was all of us."
"Artists use lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to cover the truth up"
"Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof"
"I, like God, do not play with dice and do not believe in coincidence"
"Delia Surridge: [V gives her a rose] Are you going to kill me now?
V: I killed you 10 minutes ago.
[shows her hypodermic needle]
V: While you slept.
Delia Surridge: Is there any pain?
Delia Surridge: Thank you. Is it meaningless to apologize?
Delia Surridge: I'm so sorry.
"Evey Hammond: I don't want you to die.
V: That is the most beautiful thing you could have ever given me"
Last words I'll probably say or hear:
"Aww.. What an adorable puppy"
"I don't know. Press it and find out"
"C'mon Hugh. I can't lean that far over"
"Well if God is real, let a mutant from come out of the sky and eat me whole"
"Don't worry, Honey. It's just a petting zoo. Just to prove they're harmless, I'll pet the bunny first"
· Thu Jun 02, 2011 @ 02:07am · 0 Comments