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My thought's and feeling's.( Is it just me or does that sound really gay?! )
Journal Entry #89
It's been almost a month. Not a lot has happened since then. I went to the beach a couple Wednesdays ago with my friend Joe. He's pretty awesome. Recently Nathan has been so caught up in things. And it's killing me. He's having trouble at home. He won't do his chores, go to therapy, get a job, or go to school. His parent have kicked him out of the house, and all he does all day is smoke weed and hang with people. Then sleep at my house, because where else is he supposed to go? I do so much for him. When he's been sick, I was there. When he does chores, I was there too. Every time he's kicked out, or needs food, or money, I'm always there. With all of this, he's not doing anything. He's not even trying to get a job, he skipped school so many days, and now he's dropped from the class. I want to be there for him as much I can, but I don't want to be leaned on and used just to find out that my best friend is turning into a hobo. I can't keep doing this for very much longer. He needs to stop this and be serious. Stop smoking weed, stop drinking, do what he needs to do. Everyone has to do it. Look at me (not that I'm conceited or anything) but I'm looking for a job I just did Matriculation (Entrance Exams) today, I'm getting ready for a life. He should too. I wanted to plan my life with him in it, I just wish he'd have a little motivation. I love Nathan, a lot. I will do anything to see him get better, anyone knows that. I want compensation some day.
Nathan, Please, I want you back the way you were. You were a good person. Nice, smart, everything. But now, you are easily agitated to a point where I'm afraid to talk to you sometimes. You hang out with the wrong people, the kind that lead you away from those who really care about you. You waste every bit of money you get on "nugs, weed, bowls, etc." when you could use it to get a bus pass to go to school. I miss the Nathan that was there for me, and everyone. You've turned selfish, I hate to see you turn this way. And no matter my attempts to try and help you, I don't even bother anymore. When I call you, you are at a party, or with people smoking, or drinking, doing stupid things with stupid people. I asked for your help to help me stop, you said you would stop with me. You lied. Then you promised you'd ween off. You lied, in fact since you said that, it's only gotten worse. Get some self control to say stop. I never want to be the bad person. I want to be there to help you say stop. But I only feel you will get mad at me and complain. It breaks my heart.

Your best friend, the one person that will be there for you no matter what, the one who provides you with anything, the one who only wants what's best for you................................ You ignore her.

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