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I have become fearful of my big brother dieing. I havn't heard from him in a couple days,we talk everyday,he has cancer. I find my self awake still at 3:13am . I feel ill. Im scared and all of my body hurt. I felt the pain in me in my a shrap quick pain it comes and goes.Inhaling air to breath hurt.I fell a bite of hungry but im frightful to eat all tho im not sure why I'am. Im unsure what to do i feel as if i'am dieing slowing. I know this willl be a restless night.
I have become i angered person.I fell i have become hatful of the world and the people i love. The pain in my body has grown . I kno longer feel bad about the thing i should or happy when i should be. I felt the i can only hate and cry.I have become annoyed more offen.I hear a beat in my head it FREAKS me out. And i felt a pluse in my eye. I am either crazy or ill .Im not sure what i would wheter be. If i were crazy i would be happy tho. The person i love the most in the world makes me how i am sometimes i cant take it. I think iam both ill and crazy

I leave this here un finish i do not wish to to think of this any longer, MY PAIN IS HORRIBLE

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