...I sent to a friend who happened to confess his love for me or something.

He said he was inspired by it. I don't know. Just thought gaia might want to see what I said.

Might teach future friends I have on gaia what I'm thinking about most of the time.


"I'm sorry, I'm not in a very soft mood right now. My apologies if I hurt your feelings or something, but yeah. I don't plan on sugar coating everything as much as possible today. Already, I'm sure you know how much of an extreme lecturer I am.

It continues to vex me, why people, namely teenagers, are throwing around words like "love" and "hate" as if they're just normal four letter words in our dictionary, but either way, I find it astonishingly stupid. "Love" actually has never meant anything more to me than infatuation and extreme fascination for a while now. It doesn't serve as anything valuable to me nowadays, now that people are so careless with such an emotion, calling whoever they seem to like their "soulmate" or their feelings true love or whatever. It's always the same. It always goes from getting close to eachother to liking eachother to loving eachother to insecurity to "heartbreak" to lonliness to endless, pointless sulking. So really, telling me words like "I love you.", I remain unaffected. I think romance, to be honest, is just a really distracting aspect of life. Why bother with something so confusing and troubling. It's never worth the fatigue afterwards, or at least not to me.

You say you've seen my soul. That a far too conceited statement if you ask me. Souls are much harder to find and will definately take more than two months of talking to eachother. So whatever the hell you saw was either an outershell or you just lied in order to compliment. Whatever the reason, you don't me well enough to simply know what kind of soul I have or how beautiful it may be. I honestly think you really need to stop complimenting me. I'm not really the person who needs or wants any attention right now. And anyways, if you were the kind of person who was hanging out with me all because of my looks, I wouldn't be hanging out with you or getting anywhere near you for that matter.

I'm totally content with who I am now. It's okay. You don't need to tell me how great I am or whatever you imagine of me. I personally like flawed things to be honest. I like how messed up I am right now. It makes me feel like I'm rebeling against society or something and something like that really does make me feel great. The way I am now, it gives me more time to observe people and their emotions. To learn their limits and how much pain they can bear until their down to their knees, the way I am now, it's terribly convienent.

Also, I think it's terribly simple if helping you is all it takes to be able to help you. Plenty of other people know what pain feels like and I'm honestly not one of them. If you want to love someone who really understands pain, then go to someone who has really suffered something. I just think all because I helped you, I don't think that's any reason to fall in love with me. To me it's a really small cause for something like "love".

And you should know this is all a paragraph of commentary. None of it is a truth as long as you state opinion. And all of it was opinion."