An incessant little voice in my head
Had been telling me to kill myself alot lately
That is all.
Okay no, I need to write more then that. I just... I don't know. I feel kind of worthless, I think. I don't think I know how to love. I don't have anyone I can love seemingly. I thought I'd loved before, but I don't think I ever have. Love isn't supposed to just vanish into thin air like everything else has, dammit. I feel like a ... mosnter, almost. So very depressed. Life holds little meaning for me aside from being able to crush on fictional characters, and that possibly makes things worse, because they're just out of my reach. I have a direction I want to take my life in but that doesn't seem to make an impression on my subconscious. I feel it slightly leaking over... a protrusion that I can acknowledge.
I don't go anywhere or do anything because life itself is such a bother. I just try to pass each day by and don't know what to expect out of the next one. Genuine happiness, thrill, and sadness is beyond me. I just comprehend that I'm depressed because of the hollowness, the sluggishness. The inability to care.
I don't really want to kill myself. Not at all. Just there's seriously that voice there, the utter worthlessness of my entire state of being. It summons it regardless of whether or not I want it. I don't know what to do with myself at all.
I seriously don't. So tired...
There. ******** emo enough.
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