I feel like I'm at an impasse. I have to decide what I'm going to do, the sooner the better.

Edit: Now for a real entry. I tried to go somewhere just a few minutes ago, but was stopped due to tearing a hole in my tire as I tried to leave. For whatever reason, my father decided a couple weeks back to park the van that no one ever drives in my parking spot, and to leave my truck at a place where it's hard to get out. So, I thought I could get out anyway and I carefully maneuvered my truck around a few times. I was almost all the way through when I snagged the fence. I thought it was just a little scrape on my truck, something I don't give any kind of sh*t about, but it somehow ended up tearing a hole in my tire which went immediately flat. I went no where and changed my tire while arguing with my father. I was berated and insulted while sweaty and aching from all the bending over. It's not been a good day so far. Once again thinking about suicide.