And then she realized there was nothing in this world. She knew one person in the billions of people on this Earth that could give her hope. He couldn't make her happy though. No, he did make her happy but he didn't make her human. She couldn't stand looking at anyone. They were disgusting creatures. They spoke noise and moved without feeling or care. They were useless. She hated everyone this Earth had to offer. There was no such thing as hope. Just wishes. Just thoughts. Hope was as imaginary as the happiness she felt. He did make her happy, but he couldn't make her forget. There was no shame in this world. She didn't belong. She couldn't take it anymore. There was nothing for her here. If this was a test of some great being, then she failed. She cried too often and spoke too less. She lived in a strange sort of Hell that looks soft and cuddly but bit the hardest. She had everything one could want, and that was the hardest part. It's so hard to appreciate what you have when you want exactly what you can't have. She wanted to be normal. To look at humans with admiration, and cordiality. To look at television and other media with interest and normalcy. She didn't want to feel like a freak anymore. She didn't want to feel hatred and utter self pity for the depression she sunk into day after day for no reason that seemed fitting to the other people of this world. There was nothing to be done. You can't change people. They will all still whore themselves for attention and possessions. They will never listen to a word someone says unless it affects them personally. Love could provide happiness, if love could make one forget. Love didn't make her forget. It made her remember. Every day she thought of the past. Every day she thought of the future. Everyday she feared the present; how it could change in one little instant. No one understood. No one could. Love was fear for her. No one was right for her. She would hurt them all. They would all hurt her.
So she cut herself in middle school, and had to be careful not to cause attention. So she hit herself in high school, at least no one would notice that. Now she was in college. What could she do now? Cutting didn't help, hitting didn't help, love didn't help, and nothing would. She decided to stop trying to solve it. She decided to let this course of action flourish for there was nothing left anyway. Nothing to stop her. Nothing to live for. She did have him, but he would have to be strong and move on. There was nothing he could do. He was growing tired of her fears anyway. That wouldn't stop his pain, but it got her through the decision.
She was tiny, malnourished as a child and genetically small anyway. She was pale as white with bright blonde hair. She had strange brown eyes that shined with a filmy substance always present because of the sadness she felt all around. She was soft-spoken and had low self-esteem. She didn't do well in social situations. She didn't have many friends. She didn't have any talents. She didn't have any hobbies. She didn't have any interests. She had him and that was that.
Driven mad and horribly depressed by the horrible sins of humanity, she walked to the public pool. She wore regular blue jeans, a plain black T-shirt, and small black Vans. She walked out of her door without a word. She walked down the street silently. She turned the corner without a care. She walked down the busy street without wonder. She crossed the street without looking. She walked the rest of the way without expression. She walked to the gate and opened it. She walked to the pool and saw no one. She walked down the pool's steps and immersed her whole self in the water. She sat down and held on the the step's pole and attached herself to it. She sat there, with her eyes closed, and said goodbye to the disgusting world she had so wished to leave forever. She said goodbye, and with only a moment of the initial panic that the body has when letting go of life's breath, and then she was whole again. The world could hurt her no more.
ElectrotoxicSalem Community Member 
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