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god!!she is so fregen aubsest with god and crap like that!!!it's driveing me mad!!she's read the bibul like a 1000 times and she's allwhays trying to convert me!!evon when she say's she's not!!!!and evry times she see's something that she thinks is offensive the jest go's all like quote"aw!thats awfull u know jest u relly suldent be waching/lisuning to things like that!"unquote.god....i jest dont know what to do anymore....and i dont think she relizes that i still have some isuses with god..... stressed stressed stressed stressed ........and she allwhays say's quote"i know how u feel jess with ur mom diying and all my mom died to so"unwuote...and u know what?!?!?her mom died like last month ok and she's like 81 or something my mom died last year on june-12-04 ok and im like 13 i was 11 when she died...it jest driveme made when pepul say thay know how i feel....cuz thay dont...noone ever will....jest like how i will never be normal.......beabul to play sports like the other kids....and actully have a childhood....*crys*.......when...when i ask.....when will all the pian stop.....the madnes the sadnes all of it.....i miss when i was yunger..when i had nothing to worey aubot but my mom....back when i was atlest sorta normal.....when i had a perpus in life........now.....now im jest a loser.....i miss the old me..when i was like happy 24/7.....back when i was atlest abul to fit in with all the other kids.......but that me is dead........and as the me die's my darkside auwakens.....and my dark side can sometimes not be a good thing..at all......and sometimes i wonder...if i'll ever be normal...wich i allredy know will never hapen......i was never normal from the start.........it's like i sed i jest dont know what to do anymore...i cant kill myself for 3 resons....
1:i have a pormes to k gonk eep for my cuzens...
2:im the last fregen hope for the ross famley ******** sucks!!!!
3:i'd cheken out at the last minet...
..so ya and iv thot aubot runing auwhay but runing never helps............................ so like i'v had to do for the last 5 or 6 year's i jest got to live with it....and besides im sher it will get beter....ts i wish!............ cry sad ......it suck's haveing to be the last hope for the ross famly name....i dont wana be the last hope for the ross famly name...i never wonted to be the last hope for the ross famley name............ my dad needs to get a gf....get mareid...and have a nother kid...so i cant atlest have 2 resones why i cant kill myself.....or so i can atlest not have to be the last hope for the ross famly name anymore........at the most that........ domokun ........... why......why did god have to make me like thes....all i wont is to benormal....and dont belive that god loves u s**t if he did i wuldent be like thes...hes been makeing my life hell...........sometimes i think i allredy did die and i am in hell for somereson......... crying crying evil sad gonk cry cry .....and then...thers thos mixt emoten that i feel that hert when i feel thum of allthes emothens in my chest that jest hert when i feel thum and i jest dont know what to do.......it herts so bad and it jest make me wonder more aubot when will it end?