It is midday, and Tuna, her Froggie and the newest addition to their gang sit restless in Tuna’s little apartment (you’ve never heard of it? Oh, well, she’s never there. Off adventuring too much, you see. Some family friends look after it, yes). They are all at the kitchen table, Tuna in the head chair – she is the chief of the household after all, being the oldest and the only one with opposable thumbs. Froggie sits beside her, ever loyal friend and second in command of their tiny fortress. And, just in front of them (slightly more to Tuna’s side of the table), lies a round, black object.
“I thought these things were pool balls.” She remarks, poking the item gently, then again with more force. It shifts slightly, but doesn’t… do anything.
“I’d be more amused if it would just do something,” she complains to the amphibian. To illustrate her boredom, she lays her head flat down on the table, her cap flopping off in the process. “So much for ‘magic’, eh, Froggie? I think we got ripped off,” she continues, speaking into the table.
“…Yeah, we could bring it back. But then we’d have to go all the way to the grocery store too, because when we go out we have to pick up some milk.”
After another few moments of indecipherable groaning and a string of words than Froggie thought were too naughty to repeat, Tuna finally picks up the so-called ‘magic 8 ball’. Her eyes then catch the bubbles on the flat end, before words surface out of the black, murky depth of the ball’s darkness.
“Holy POOP, Froggie! LOokit this!” She gesticulates wildly as her frog pal’s tongue lolls out in excitement, his eyes gazing lazily at the ball before surveying her in that sombre, knowing way.
“We have to ask it questions!” She cries, having just discovered at that moment the instructions (which had been beside the box the entire time but who needs instructions? Not Tuna, that’s for sure!). “Maybe it’ll tell us something about the universe or what’s for dinner!”
So, off she went, asking her new friend (for that’s what she considered it) questions about life, love, and everything in between. Froggie asks a few, too, but most weren’t yes / no questions, though he never minded. It is only when she gets to the question of, ‘Are you telling the truth?’ that the thing begins to be evasive.
“ask again later? But that’s the THIRD time it’s said that.” Tuna is starting to become frustrated. ‘Reply hazy – try again’ and the aforementioned have been her responses for the past fifteen minutes of asking this question. Something is wrong with the ball, or else it’s being evasive for a reason.
“Wait a minute – have you been lying all this time?!” She cries with a sudden burst of realization, shaking the magic within for emphasis. A hazy, bubble clouded ‘you may rely on it’ surfaces. Her face falls.
“He’s been lying this entire time…” Tuna sets the ball down on the table, feeling betrayed and rather upset. She had trusted it with what pizza place to order from, whether to order a new tea set and even which galaxy would give them the best deal on comic books! Now she would have to re-route their journey around the asteroid belt (they would have gotten through it had the 8 ball not been a liar!), and cancel her order for those super expensive ebay collectibles of frogs that looked like Froggie!
“I’m very upset, Froggie.” Tuna adjusts her cap once again, already ready to leave this bad memory behind in favour of more enjoyable, less indecisive ones. “We should bring it back to the store after all.
“…No, Froggie. I won’t forget the milk.”
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tuna yo
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