and one of my best friends in the world replied:

"not all happy is in pill form

::

look, I think a lot of this boils down to you being lonely.

very, very lonely.

it starts out with boredom. more time to yourself, you think. no interruptions, all the time in the world.

but then you lose interest in that and long to converse with friends, with people you are comfortable around and just being THERE.

...as you find yourself without the company of friends, you turn the boredom and loneliness inwards and begin to question your own value. maybe people don't like you, you figure. what could be keeping them away?

...when the sad, crushing reality is that people suck. not everyone will see you for who you are, not everyone will want to see you for who you are, and not everyone is available.

your distance from everyone who accepts you for who you are only complicates things.

it's just plain unfair.

you have no idea, I was bored to tears until the very end of july, I wished all of my friends lived closer.

...or that they didn't have jobs, lol"