It was gone. All of it was gone. I panted for breath as I felt my heart beating rapidly in my chest. If I could sweat, it would be pouring from my pores and covering my body. For a moment I was grateful that I had a mechanical body again. Looking at my closet, it looked as if a bomb had gone off. Shirts and jackets were strewn across the floor, or they clung onto hangers with prayers of mercy. Random pairs of pants were draped across the closet, each leg on a different side as if to be some sort of impromptu caution tape. Sitting down on my bed, I looked over at the trash. Several trash bags were piled up against the wall by my front door. They were overstuffed and brimming with....well, with things I didn't want anymore.
The trip from the Isle was long enough time for me to contemplate the future. My life was stake, but for reasons I don't understand. Whoever tried to take my life either time did so only when I was in my human body. I had to wonder, was it because I was human or was it me, as a person, that they had wanted to destroy? It was hard to figure out, and those in which I talked to, although brief, were equally as confused. It was easier to kill me as a cyborg than as a human. Believe what you will, but that's the truth.
Carrying the trash bags outside to the dumpster was much harder than I had thought. Taking all of the clothes that I had saved and cherished from my human life wasn't so hard. Each piece I held in my hand and reminisced about; the bright red dress I wore to my first day at Mechanic School, the long indigo gown from prom (if I held it close I could still smell Edy's overwhelming but well-suited cologne), my Mechanic School graduation robes....every single article of clothing had a memory. Remembering them had been hard, but throwing the only physical evidence that I ever was human was even harder. I knew it was for the best, to not dwell on the past and perhaps give into temptation to a human body for a second time.
But as I tossed the last bag into the dumpster, I wished I was human just so I could cry.
There were many things I had to focus on so I could stay positive. I didn't have to worry about cravings for Frogger's donuts. Nobody was going to try and murder me anymore (if past patterns rung true). I could devote my life to the Mechanical Children and The Pit Stop. Since I was no longer wearing any color other than Aekea's, shopping would be less tempting. Not going out to eat would really cut down on my spending. I wouldn't have to worry about STDs or pregnancy! Not having to shower would really cut down on the building's water bill. Overall being a cyborg was a fantastic deal. I just had to keep reminding myself that.
PQ and Retrostacja
· Sun Aug 15, 2010 @ 01:21am · 0 Comments