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Leave Me Alone!
...I am shaking... Why?...because my drunk cousins were torturing a cat...and they killed it... Oh God...it was crying out in terror and pain...and they made me watch...they held me there...and I was screaming...just because I refused to take off my clothes for them... It was like Germany all over again... "Do this for me or I will force you to do this"...that's all it was with Leonard... Like, "Let me touch you, Natalie, or I will make you go with Aaron and you keep watch as he tortures the man"... "Go out and interrogate my latest addition with any means necessary or I'll put your mother in a bad accident where she just might lose her legs"... God... I forgot how much blood a living thing could carry...it just kept pouring out and pouring out...and the smell of it...the sound of it meowing so loudly in pain and terror... They tied a line of barbed wire around it's neck...the other end to a tree...and then doused it with water so it would run... It was choking...and bleeding...and yowling...and they held me back because I wanted to help it... I wanted to wrap my hands around that barbed wire and pull it off of that poor cat...it brought out the hate in me again...that cold, cruel hate that Leonard taught me... I wanted to make Joshua cry out in pain...in terror...the sick, drunken b*****d... The death of an innocent animal...just because I wouldn't get naked... God... They eventually shot it...and let me go...and I cried next to the cat for a long time... "Don't tell anyone about this because they won't believe you. Who would believe you? You aren't even a real part of this family. If you tell, they won't believe you, and we'll bring you out here again tomorrow night. Be a good girl and keep your mouth shut. Now...go dump that poor b*****d in the creek, I don't want cat blood on my hands."... The ********... I just can't...function... Why?... Why did I have to do all that in Germany?... Why wasn't I stronger then?... Why did I have to learn the hard way?...
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