So, I know the title has nothing to do with what I'm going to write, but who really cares about that? No ones really going to see this entry ever anyways. So, on to the jucy stuff. I can not let him go! I will not! Why not though! It always feels like a constant battle inside of me. A battle in my heart. I love him so much!!! I want to have more than friendship with him. I want to have a relationship and a life. I want to be the one that he loves, and I want him to know beyond all doupt that I love him. But this, he can never know. It can never be. Immagine falling in love with the most amazing guy ever, and just as it begins to seem promising, he asks out your best friend. What a stab in the chest! You can't even immagine how much that hurt, how much I still wanted to be with him. I wanted him more than peanutbutter wants jelly. I loved him so much, as I always have, and as I do now. So, you can see why I jumped on the chance to be with him when I got the chance? Well, I want to jump on that chance again... but, I can't. It's sooo much more complicated than it needs to be. I should be getting to sleep here soon, but I'm being stupid. I want him to be in the bed that I'm going to get into. I want to know that no-matter what goes on in my life, that I will always have him and he will have me. I want us to be a couple again. I want to run to him when I have a bad day or when the world starts closing in on me. I want him to hold me and wipe away my tears with his thumb and tell me he loves me more than the world and life itself and hold me close to him. I want to be held in his arms for as long as time will allow, and for him to run his fingers through my brown hair, and to pull me to him and to have our lips meet in a sweet moment of pure bliss.I want to settle with him onto a lush bed of clouds and for us to become one. I guess I want lots from him, but I can't help it. I want all of him, and all he has to give. I want to have a true love in him, but that's far too much to ever ask of anyone ever. I love him though. Like an idiot, I love him for all that he is. I love his good qualities. I love all his flaws, and I keep falling for him every time that even see him. I love the guy. What can I say? I'm hopeless...
gurgenshnogal Community Member 
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