You know that every glass of water from New Jersey is made of 5% mobster, right?
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If I were a whore I'd totally be the kind giving 5 cent hand jobs in the Denny's bathroom.
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Talk to me like that again and your a** is dinner and a movie.
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Ow! My tooth!
Which one?
Uh, the one with stuff in it?
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Leg flipping
Hip shaking
Orgasm quaking
Bone structure breaking
awesomeness.
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Chuck Norris is jealous of The Miaiko because
he doesn't have a prefix at the beginning of his name.
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Maybe it's the wind: Standard excuse of denial for
anything that is about to go, or has gone wrong.
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AGGGHHGG!!!
EAGGHHHH!
URGHHHHH!
What are you doing?
Opening the refrigerator.
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Carrot.
What?
No.
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What's the color of green?
I don't know... 7?
It all makes sense now! YES!!
ECONOMICAL EQUILIBRIUM!!
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Hell Yeah.
There we go.
What?
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Come back later and talk to me about how I told ya so.
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Are you ok?
Huh, what? Nothing.
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If a tree alone in the forest falls,
does an animal not fart?
What?! Anyway,
It can't be alone in the forest. What about the trees?
The "alone" part only pertains to mammals.
What about squirrels?
There are none.
How do you know?
Cause I made up this ******** question.
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There are only 3 people in the universe this special.
Chuck Norris being one of them, Mr. T the other...
and The Miaiko.
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Don't speak to me in subjects that shouldn't be spoken of.
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Omg you used a word!
Um, I've been using words.
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Lol. That sounds like a fart.
What? Me chewing?
No! WTF?!
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But I don't wanna cut myself...
Then cut somebody else.
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HOLY ********!
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POWER SUGAR!!
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He's got a deck full of jackasses.
Oh I'm sorry was that the wrong term?
I mean jokers. He has a deck full of jokers.
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I can see Yuki saying that.
What?
The Jackers, jokeasses thing.
lmao what?
I mean... um jack... joke...
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LOOQ SKAEWULKAR
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Did you know that bolonga is made up of 95% bullshit?
Lol. Really now?
Yeah, that's why i don't touch the stuff.
I like a little truth in my meat.
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We weren't talking in silence. Technically, I find that impossible.
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Hey you wanna play tic tac toe? Great!
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Kitty~ Foood~
No! Wait! Don't give it up! Make him beg for it!
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He came out like a bat outa hell.
For the last time, bats don't come out of hell. They come out of my teacher's
v****a.
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Where's my wasabi?!
It's hidden? That or somebody ate it.
Lol. That's what she said.
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Only children have off not the teachers.
Student. Do I look like a child to you?
with tits this big i could be your mother.
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You know why chickens run around all crazy when they get decapitated right?
It's because they're pissed they can't get any more head.
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Four leaf clovers are bullshit. They're hard as ******** to find and you look like an idiot
when you think you saw one but it was just the regular kind psyching you out.
Find me a clover with four leaves,
and I'll show you a fist with four fingers.
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Has anyone ever tried bleaching their cat to make it more stylish?
I mean, not alot where it could hurt it, but just a few highlights.
Maybe a polo shirt to complete the unsomble, some mini baby crocks for flair... maybe a barrette or two?
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If I ever worked at a gas station you best believe I'd have my gats ready to blat blat blat any bujigga who tries to step to this. He be like gimme yo money, then I pull out my peice an be like, you gimme yo money b***h and all I can sell. Then he be lookin all broke a** in the street an before I leave his a** I punch him in the throat an take his sneakers. Cause I do what it do ya feel me?
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Drinking's like sex, only you don't lose interest after a while.
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People are afraid to go swimming far in the ocean because of sharks, sharks are afraid to swim in the ocean because of people. The reason for this is simple. Who wants to swim in an ocean of piss and fear?
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How many people do you know? How many people do you know know that you have aids?
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If I had a taco for every time you pissed me off I'd of built a fort of tacoes on the mexican boarder like... three days ago.
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Have you ever seen anyone get kicked in the chest?
No...
Me neither...
Do you want to be my first?
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God didn't send down his only begotten son for you to sit on your a** all day and talk about how much your life sucks on sundays. That's what I'm here for.
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I like a man with a little attitude in his demeanor. I mean like... he should be forceful sometimes. Slap me around a little. I wouldn't mind every now and then if he came home and punched the back of my head because dinner was late. Not a lot, but just a little. Like, somewhere between slapping me and cutting me up into little peices and putting me in a suitcase.
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Apples are red
your eye is blue
take off your pants
your in need of a screw.
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get out of bed
wake up dude
what do you want
i'm in the mood.
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Shut up heap! Heaps do not talk! Now get in the oven b***h and bake me some death!
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Preps in a zombie horror movie: "Hold on Jesse!"
"I can't my uggs are slipping!!"
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Ed Gein: Well know for having funtime with his lady friend's organs.
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I'm touching my... circles of pleasure.
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Why is Ayame there?
Cause he's a sexy flambuoyant witch woman.
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Teenage Sarah Palin: "Miss Palin what on earth do you think your doing?!"
"What I thought it was an oral report."
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How many people does someone have to shoot around here to be president?
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I clicked on the easy button and it told me to try again later.
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Real men make their own lube.
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The Miaiko's view on heartbreak.
"The scars just get coated over, like cracks in a wall being covered over with a fresh coat of paint. Crack's still there. Might resurface sooner or later, but who gives a damn? I'm just getting high off the paint fumes."
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I’m so hungry a hand is about to rip out of my stomach and shove a hotdog in my face.
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Stomach my rip off and hand out my face.
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I'm made up of 85% alcohol. The rest is an epic fluid of awesomeness called midichlorians which can only be produced by a person of equal awesome.
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That's just inappropriate... Like Megan Fox on steroids.
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Eight is such a whore number.
If you turn it sideways it's infinity.
Infinite whore!
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WOAD! Weapon of a** destruction.
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c***d makes me think of the color purple... not the color. The movie. Damn that pisses me off. The Color Purple should just be called Purple if it's going to sound that retarded in a sentence! ******** you Oprah.
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*coughing fit*
God, it sounds like I'm making out with Kirmit the frog or something...
Wow, now I kinda wonder what that'd be like.
I mean, if you had any phlem or anything in the way he could just use his tongue action to take care of it. Like blam.
*Nya laughing/Can't breathe*
You okay man? Looks like you could use a little toad action over there.
Another childhood memory down the toilet~
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He Man has the power...
I HAVE TO PLOW HER!
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I love sour kraut.
Wait a minute, no I don't.
That's why I hate it.
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My brain's so good with fish in it.
Fish n Miaiko.
Screw fish n chips
Take a bite outta this.
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[******** nuts.
There's such thing as ******** nuts?
Schweet.
I wanna get some ******** nuts from America.
We are in America.
Exactly that's why I want to get them from America.
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I'm the buulge in you're throat when you swallow.
There we go.
Buulge.
Buulgem waffles.
Now I'm in the mood
For some Buulgem waffles.
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Ace Ventura
Pet-afile.
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What?
I'm sucking it out of my mouth.
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I'm home
Pretty drunk.
I'm drunk
Wish you're pretty.
Wait no.
I'm pretty
Wish you were drunk.
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I am Sour Kraut
Hear me moo.
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I am Mr. Kraut
Wait, aren't you a girl?
Exactly
That's why I'm Mr. Kraut.
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Ooh "Stud Finder".
Beep, beep.
Ooh, "Stud Finder''s never wrong.
Ooh
Beep beep beep
"Stud Finder" is off.
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It is your destiny.
I have forseen it.
It is your destiny to be behind.
Ok.
Wait no,
What does seme mean again?
Wait, ******** that.
Damn right I will.
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You are wenis incarnate.
You just made your own brand of shampoo.
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Ha. You can't reach my finger.
I can lean. I can lean so fast you won't even know I came.
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Wow. It's like it just popped up.
Wait, no, it did...
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Cell phones! They're made of plastic! Therefore Abraham Lincoln must be gay!
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I'm like a liquor-to be enjoyed responsibily.
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Miaiko
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