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Lilly's Diary
personal thoughts here
Faith..
She asked me to have faith in her...I'm going to try. It would be stupid to blindly trust her, of course...but..I can see her light, now. She's becoming bright...and she can feel more than me. I knew the year would be wierd, we all do...but Chloe can see that everyone will find the right path. I stayed, bright, and so she lit up..and because she's not in the hole, others are going to see the light, too. I'm so happy...everyone is going to be happy...life won't be cold and dark..I want to cry.

I keep wanting to push Chloe away..it's become a reflex..Neena won't let me though. She always knew Chloe wouldn't leave, that's why she never worried. She's always had complete faith...and she's starting to rub off on me too. Right now, I keep thinking, "well Chloe doesn't need me anymore, time to jump ship and move along"..it's a reflex, it's what i've always done in life. Neena won't let me, not anymore. I see myself with my hands clutched across my chest..."no..no one can come near.." and the there's neena, she holds my arms apart..holds me there, "you have to let her in. You have no choice now." she won't let me push Chloe away..she won't let me push those I need away, not anymore... She's taking control, guiding me.....because I honestly have no idea what to do.. I feel like everyone understands something I don't..I keep struggling to figure out common sense.. But I've never been able to understand the simple, only the complex..if it's too easy, it throws me off...that's where neena is coming in... Where she's helping me now.. She tells me, the time for her to sit and watch is over..were nearing a crucial point, and I need guidance..





 
 
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