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DIS LOVELY STORY IS BY ANYONG KIM

The inside of Yo’s mouth was cool, slick, and soft—exactly how Tuna liked it. It was the perfect sanctuary for the digestion of her literary articles, a nice and shaded little nook to rest and regains her wits. And, she would need a lot of rest because she had a lot of wit to regain.

Why?

One word, 3 syllables, 8 letters.

Mercury

She scowled and turnt a page in her Biology book at the very thought of the place and their less-than-fantastic rendezvous on its surface. The planet was hot. It was small. It hot, small rock that the girl would’ve dubbed Asteroid Suck if she had any authority in regards to its naming.

She had completely forgotten why she had asked Yo to accompany her to Mercury. But, what mattered now was that she was off its crater encrusted face, and within the fleshy walls of her noble steed, her bed, her breakfast table, and her very best friend. Her Yo. The severe look on her face softened as her mind filled with thoughts of the creature, and she began reading her text at a more leisurely pace.

She’d laugh at today; bad times gone were ones to laugh upon she decided cleverly.

She turnt the page.

It was then that her eyes trailed to a particular paragraph in the chapter... and, all at once, the newly forged bit of humour dissipated. Worry assaulted the nerves between her brows, and her palms suddenly felt as moist as the backside of her warty companion. The more she read the more her mind ran frantic. And the more frantic her mind ran, the more panic she began to feel.

‘Impossible!’ she thought inwardly. ‘No!’

When it became too much for her head to bear, she gave voice to her distress. “Yo! Yo, this is absolutely awful. Awful! Yo! Yo!”

Tuna motioned for her amphibious companion to widen his jaw and skillfully rolled out, book opened and pressed against her little chest. When she got up again, still trembling, the blonde looked at her friend—as if she were about to tell the frog of the gravest, most tragic event in the history of the entire universe.

Perhaps it was.

“Yo? I don’t know how I’m going to say this, so I’ll just tell you straight up!” Her back straightened though she almost wanted to cry. But, she tried to look calm and as dignified as possible. “I think I have just killed you.”

Tuna bit her lip as her frog looked at the girl, his large, blue eyes gleaming slick with frog fluid and curiosity. Obviously, Yo simply didn’t register the gravity of the situation. She repeated herself, slowly this time.

“Yo. You are dead.”

Stretching his lips reproachfully, the frog wondered if it would be in his best interest to take the bait. There was no way around it, though-- so he gave a great sigh and finally spoke. “And upon what grounds do you sentence me to such a morbid fate?”

“I am Tuna,” she answered cryptically, “And I have been to Mercury.”

“Lovely self-introduction.”

“Yo, please, this is serious business.” She peeled the book away from herself and made a finger motion at page 291. “Mercury in Tuna is... deadly. Deadly, yo! I have become... poisonous”

“Poisonous...”

“Yes. I-it says here that Tunas (that’s me) can become contaminated with Mercury... Which, as you may or may not know, is a highly toxic organic compound. A-and for the past few hours, just where have I been!”

“...The inside of my mouth...”

“Y-yes. And soon, I too will be dead. A-and we will be dead... Together” She made a sweepingly dramatic motion, in an attempt to calm the bubbling waters in her eyes. She had planned to laugh about today; but, being dead would put a damper on her resolve. And, also, death was no laughing matter.

“Tuna.”

“Yo” she responded despondently.

“You are being absolutely ridiculous” Yo heaved once more which came out as a veiny puff in his chin. “Look in a mirror. Look at that diagram. Then look at yourself again for good measure. Do you look anything like that creature in that book of yours?”

Tuna rummaged in her bag and did exactly that. “...No...”

“Good, that’s a start. There are two sorts of tunas, very much like there are two sorts of mercuries.”

“...What.”

“Yes. What you are reading is an Earth book. I don’t know how you came upon something so primitive... Anyways, yes. There are two sorts of Mercury. The element and the place we have recently... perused. And there are two types of tuna. The fish and well... You”

“Really now.” Suddenly, she felt horribly stupid. And angry. And then, when she was done feeling stupid and angry she came to a conclusion.

“Well, good riddance to Earth and all its textbookery! And as for... Mercury! Even Asteroid Suck is too good of a name for it! I-it should be called Asteroid SUPER Suck! That’s where we’re going next, Yo! To the planet... naming... authorities!”

Yo looked upon his best friend. If he had shoulders he would have shrugged. She was endearing, he’d give her that.

“Mm. Quite. How about a spot of tea before we head out...?”