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_I've lost it all. This is the problem with time, it continues no matter what. If you disappear from it for a while you loose it all, you miss alot. I've learned something today, from someone else's mistake that made me realize mine. Time is not a force that can help you out. It can't even help you along. Time is a river that takes you to the great ocean where a second life begins. Along the river are stops, but if you don't jump out of the river you will miss them. And if you stay at one too long those stops might disappear.

_Love... It doesn't exist within a young world. Love is near the middle of the river, not the beginning... Yet there are some that find love at the beginning. Until you get there though there are crushes, there are lessons, there are regrets. I don't date, because it seems useless. You become an item with a person just to break up with them a few weeks or months later. It's using another person to fulfill personal pleasures, whether it be sexual or not. But now I realize it also stops regrets, the weights that bring you down when you get to the ocean. Friends come and go anyway, so why not your once "beloved"?

_A good friend lost his only chance for a while today. He was so stuck on his wicked witch of a girl friend that he let a person who would really care for him go. Despite his own feelings and everyone's advice he stuck with the witch. Now the angel that could have saved him is gone and he is stuck with the demon. She was planning on breaking up with him tomorrow anyway. This got me thinking...

_I took a break from gaia for a while. I came back and it seemed only two people were excited about me coming back. The rest had found new lives and new mates. People I could have been with but missed my chance.
_Even within reality I've lost alot. I don't talk to any of my friends like I used to, on the phone or in person. I made a new friend this semester. We seemed to get close... until I was moved one seat over. Now we barely even say hi. Now I'm pretty much left with friends I only see a period a day. Though I still feel strongly about some.
_And all this has lead me to one person who I've never met. I've only seen her face through pictures and yet... I'm mesmerized. She's like a drug that has to come to me. I sit on the weekends waiting for my next fix, my next chance to talk to her.

_Now I'm moving soon, leaving all that could have been. I have one last chance to make everything up, but it's no where near enough time. Time is of no importance to me. The past has happened, the present lasts only a millisecond and the future is unknown. I'll just let this river carry me along, and I'll just chill as usual.



Yes I have been given time, bust should I really admit my truths?
PART2: TRUTH...