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Alright, does everyone want to know bout the true me and what i think about half the time.. Ok FINE!!!! Here it is:

I am a 17 year goody-goody who lives under her parents. I dont have a bad life, but i do have problems. Now to all you people except Cody who tries to help, STOP!! Again, all you people who think your helping me, STOP!! Cause mostly all your doing is making me confused and downgrading me. It hurts!! ok. Now Cody has been the only guy in the world that has helped me.. But the sad thing is, Ive learned so much from him, I went into overload so im teaching myself slower than what he wants me to, but everything he has helped teach me, is everything i needed!! Kitty and Amber are my sisters, and they are here to help me live. Just I love Cody with all my heart, and i have let him go, but i am still waiting for him, but I am looking too. And I just dont want to date right now! If you cant believe me, then there is something wrong with you. I have flirted with guys, just im not ready! ok? Look, i dont need a guy to make me happy, just Cody did. And even though yes, he has hurt me, Ive learned from that. Am i still broken hearted, YES!! But who wouldnt be?!? He has the most gorgous eyes, and a great personality. Hes an amazing friend. Hes my bestie, my best friend with benefits!! And honestly, there is NOTHING wrong with that!!! We still love each other, but nothing will try to happen til after high school. People need to learn to mind their own ******** business. People have budded their nose in my and his business so much, theyve made us go insane towards each other. Its not me or him(well at times it is) but its mostly someone(s) else!! Cause people are RUDE!! Im curious, but im not rude! Its people who have made me who i am.. I used to be able to talk to people, but ive been downgraded to my face, that ive stepped back from that. But you know what, i should not have. I know I need to stand up for myself, and im gonna start. I dont like how ive been treated!! People have been dissing me, and even my friends have. I get left out of plans and i get left out of the fun! Now, is this my fault..? I have NO ******** idea! Cause no one will tell me to my face, cause they think im weak. Im not weak. I may be simple minded, and simpley lived, but im NOT weak!! Ok, i dont know what im doin after high school, but im looking! I want to graduate in Cali, and im working on it. Im fixing myself up just right. Just like everyone wants me to. But im doing it my way, the way i was helped!!! Im getting straight A's, when by this time last year, i was playin catch up. My schedule is looking good for next year. My parents are their own people, and i did NOT turn out the way they wanted me to. But im NOT them. I am who i am, in the end whoever that turns out to be. Im good at cleaning and cooking, sadly.. But I love horseback riding, rodeo, and volleyball. And i do love to watch football(except my school team, to me, they suck!).. And let me just say, my style of clothing, is NOT A FASHION STATEMENT!!!! I wear what i want to wear and wat i think looks good on me. So, let me just say this, if i want your opinion i will ask for it, DONT just give it. K. I do like to hang out with people, and meet new people. I do like to text and be on the computer, Im a kid. I dont like to follow directions that well, and i have turned kinda rebellious.. Sorry. Im not the same kid i was this time last year. I do have depression.. Sorry, but true! Dont believe me, ask my doctor! So F all you who have think ive been lying or making up stories. I feel alone, most of my time. Its easy to cover it, but sometimes i dont. Sorry, its a habit! Ive felt alone for years, and its something ive learned to live with and ignore.. and if you know me, you know my definition of being alone.. Just look, some of the stuff im doin, is for someone else, not for me. Do i know what i want, no! But i do like to see people happy.. I hate it when people i know are down.. I do have a lot of responsibilties as a 17 year old, but thats cause half of them i put there to challenge myself and the other half are from other people.. My school stuff, thats for my parents.. My classed next year though, those are for me!! I want them... I do want to sing again, but im NOT payin that much stupid money.. Thats ridiculus!!

(sorry, im going to edit this in my email and i will post the new one when im done!)