My previous journal entry was rather...hot worded and full of anger. I needed desperately to release it. Now I have. Even though she hurt me so deeply, I feel that in her response she also put things to rest. Its over. It has been over. There won't be any friendship, any acknowledgement. What we shared was beautiful, but in the past. Was it love? Possibly. Probably. And that love will never completely go away so long as it exists in memory. It is the same for everyone we have come to feel so strongly for. I know she still loves me, deep within, as I love her, but we aren't the right people for each other. She has a hell of a lot of growing to do. Her battle isn't with me; its with herself.
My battle is with our society, who has forced people into situations like the one she suffers in daily. I've had so many dear, beloved people be abused due to race, or sexual/romantic interest. And I'm appalled. Disgusted. And furious. Because every human being has the right to happiness, the right to respect, to be treated as a human. I don't agree with every religious perspective out there, but I would never tell people not to worship who they believe in with all their heart and soul. Who are we to judge what is right and wrong in that context?
And who are we to say that a man cannot love another man, or that an older man and a younger woman cannot be happily together, and in love?
Well I dedicate my life to make this world a better place. For everyone. Not just for Christians, or African Americans...or women. For everyone We are all of the same species, no matter what our social status is, our biological sex, gender, race, ethnicity, sexual interest, psychological make-up, physical handicap. None of it matters because at the base we are all the same.
I learned a lot from my ex-gf. That not all people are developmentally equal to me...and no doubt there are others who surpass my development. Life progresses in stages. We live in transition. And we try to do the best with our strengths and limitations. I am ready to seek another, to love again whether it be with a man or a woman. I know to what degree I am capable of loving. And someone someone will match it or make it pale in comparrison. That someone will be right for me.
_Karmilla_Dresden_ · Thu Jan 28, 2010 @ 07:02am · 0 Comments |