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Tilted Haven
A place for me to dump rants and raves about various things. Lawl.
What's goin' on 'round here...
Hokies, so...I've had a lot of people worried about me and I haven't really been talkin'. Sorry, gaiz. Didn't mean to upset/worry anyone. I really didn't. Anyway, this is...the situation that's been really, really upsetting me...

See, my father is the most important person in my life. He will always come first. We've always been extremely close. He's a great man, a great father, a great provider. We've had our differences but we always got past them. Recently, he got remarried and his new wife and her son are flippin' awesome. I love 'em, a'cause they're family, now. I have NO problems with them at all. Everyone's been acting normal/regular since they moved up here EXCEPT my dad. I don't know why but for some reason, he's flipped on an a*****e switch and apparently can't turn it off when it comes to me or my sister. Everyone knows I've been trying to buy a house. Well, I wasn't READY to buy a house, to be honest...but I decided to do it for HIS sake so he could relax in his house with his new wife. I decided to go for it because he said I could afford it, financially, and he talked me into it. I trust him 100% so I said ok. Now, this whole process has been very, very stressful because my closing's been pushed back 3 times, now, so I'm still not moved out a month after when I thought I would be.

Instead of having his support with the whole mess that this ordeal is, it feels more like he's been pushing and pushing to have me and my sis out the door. He's been constantly pushing for us to be packed and have everything gone and out of the way. He was yelling, the other day, that we have company coming for Thanksgiving and wanted all of our "junk" out of the dining room. We were like, "That's where you told us to put it, though?" His response was, "Well, I didn't expect it all to STILL be here for THANKSGIVING." He's been acting accusatory, like it's MY fault I'm not out of the house, yet??

Anyway, that's just a part of it. His CONSTANT treatment of me and my sis has been s**t. He has been treating us like s**t. I'll be trying to talk to him about something important to me and how I feel and he'll flat-out ignore it and/or completely talk OVER me to someone else. He'll belittle me and instigate certain things from/with me and pick on me in ways that are totally uncalled for. Like if I tell him I don't want to come to the kitchen to look at the coffee pot he was giving us because I just worked a very busy 13 hour day during INVENTORY at work, he shouldn't then mimic what I said and tease me for feeling the way I do. He should understand and leave me the ******** alone. It's not like I can't look at a damn coffee pot some other time!

In any case, it's been one thing after another to the point where I have apologized to Ivonne (his wife) and Andy (her son) numerous times because of the fighting and my crying. She's been getting sick from stress and the fighting doesn't help because we've NEVER been like this. That's part of why it hurts so damn much. I don't know WHY he's treating me like this, constantly harassing me and treating me like s**t. No one knows. Stress, maybe? Well, guess what, we are ALL stressed, we ALL have a lot going on...so why is HE the only one acting any different? And I can't talk to him about it, oh no. I was trying to brush it off and deal with it until I move out, staying out of his way, but then he upset me, yesterday, when my sis and I were trying to clean up because he approached us in a very demanding/accusatory way with everything and that was the wrong thing to do. If he had approached us in a nicer way, I'd have been more willing to listen to him. Instead, I finally blew up and yelled at him to stop telling my sister to shut up and to stop treating us like s**t because NO ONE has been acting differently but him. He was going to try to JUSTIFY treating us like s**t and I cut him off and said, "NO, there is NO excuse for that. NO excuse." Because there isn't. What kind of parent tries to JUSTIFY treating their children like s**t?? And then he tried to tell me that I wasn't being fair and I just about blew up at him. I almost walked out of the ******** house and straight to a hotel.

So, imagine someone you love more than anyone else in the world...someone you say I love you to every day and hug every single chance you get and don't want to let go of them. Then, imagine that same person doing a complete turn to the point where you can barely say two words to them and avoid them like the plague. Hurts, doesn't it? Well, that's what I've been going through for at LEAST the past month or so...but it's only gotten worse these past couple of weeks. I was even trying to be nice and I bought him breakfast, took him to the movies (with everyone else, of course) but still...things seemed to be going okay because I was ignoring the issue...and then he opens his ******** mouth and starts it all over again only 10x worse than before so all my efforts were...for nothing, y'know?

So, he's made me and my sis feel... unsupported, unwelcomed, and just...like we're in the way and he can't wait to be rid of us. Well, sorry, it's only taken me 22 years, Dad.

Right, sorry, this is a lot to read and it may not seem like a big deal to some of you guys...but to someone like me who had a father she's depended on for the majority of her life, hoping for support from that person, to suddenly have that taken away...well, it really, really hurts. Very deeply. ESPECIALLY because I don't understand the why. That's tough. I hate not knowing how to fix something. HATE it...

But yeah, that's the big issue, man. Aside from any other stress I have going on...that's the big thing that's hurt me the most. I've never cried so much before in my life. Every time I think about it, I break down into tears that just...won't stop...

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  • User Comments: [4]
    Wish I had some advice to offer to make things better

    comment icebrat · Community Member · Mon Nov 23, 2009 @ 04:27pm
    That... wow... I can't believe he'd do that to you and your sister... sad
    You're doing the best he can. Unfortunately, there isn't much more that you can do, until your dad takes a reality check and actually thinks for a second on how he's hurting you two. I can only hope that he comes to and realizes what he's been doing to you before it's too late...
    *hugs* If you need anything, or want to talk, just call/text/poke me on msn/poke me on facebook/whatever. sad

    comment Kei Asaki · Community Member · Wed Nov 25, 2009 @ 05:42am
    Hoom. I was wondering why I haven't seen my favorite red texter around. sad I'm very sorry to hear.

    The way I see it, it sounds like your Father is trying to turn over a new leaf and start his new life with his new wife on the right foot. When things don't go to plan and a reminder of your failed marriage takes up space in the dining room, I can see how that would frustrate someone. It's probably the reason he's been pushing for you guys to leave. Perhaps he's gotten it into his mind that the only way he can truly feel he's moved on or established a new life is with you guys gone.

    what surprises me most, is that he's doing these sorts of things in front of his new wife. Does she not feel sorry for you guys? Why do you have to apologize to her for being yelled at? If I saw a man treating his own children that way, it would leave me wondering how he would treat a stepson.

    I'm not sure how things ended between your Father and your Mother, but perhaps your Father is venting his frustrations and the things 'he wanted to say' to his ex wife through you guys. Thing is, in most cases like these, when someone is acting like this, it's usually never on account of the children. Marriage is a big thing- when divorce comes into play it rends things...sometimes irreparably.

    It sounds ridiculous, but the next time your Father gets into one of his tirades, or begins yelling at you, don't fuel the fire by firing back, don't react to it- even if it is hurtful. Take his hands, look him in the eyes and tell him, "Daddy I love you, and I forgive you for the things you are saying right now." You may never understand why
    your Father pulled a complete 180 on you, but when and if it ever goes away, know he'll look back on the way he behaved and remember that all you did was respond in love.


    comment Quatro · Community Member · Mon Nov 30, 2009 @ 06:20pm
    sorry that everything going bad with your family tilty. i know how important family is so to have issues with them hurts. i can only say is that hopefully time will heal his heart and everything might get better.

    comment chamo · Community Member · Thu Dec 03, 2009 @ 05:14pm
    User Comments: [4]

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