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As I sit at my desk staring at the screen of my laptop I find myself wondering.
"Why do I even get on the internet any more?"
I can't even answer that question any more.
Even Gaia has become dull, boring, and pointless.
I was happier with out internet, phone, and tv.
To bad I couldn't live there.
Maybe one day but not any time soon.
I'm depressed and with the winter months approaching I am lacking the strength to care.
Certain thoughts keep haunting my mind.
This past week was almost uneventful except for a few things and yet I wish it had never ended.
Why did I come home?
Why do I keep getting on the internet?
I know if I slowly disappear, fade away from it all, I wont be missed.
Maybe that's what I should do.
My life used to be consumed by the computer.
Now I don't even want to be on it.
I could never quite Gaia.
As I think about it more I wonder what kept me on Gaia for so long?
Why did I return day after day?
Why did I care about checking Gaia constantly.
Sure I made some friends but most have left me.
Maybe it was the attraction of being myself with out being me and people still liking me.
Most likely it was because I had no other filler in my life and it passed some of the time.
As I walk in my shadow I know that fear is my father and confusion my mother.
I shall never know my greater purpose.
I will always these broken roads bare footed.
Love and Hate be human nature and forgetting human fault.
Down in my pit of depression there is no hiding from myself.
I'm just a soul caught in times twisted game.
 HopeYouFall · Fri Oct 16, 2009 @ 05:45pm · 0 Comments |
