Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

So, in there, I was thinking...

C did promise, and even though she hesitated, because she's broken the promise before, she said she wouldn't this time.. things are different now, things are much more specific, and I'd like to think she accepts this and that now.. and so, I'm going to put my trust in her, this time.

If something happens, again.. she said she'd tell me right away, and.. I hope she will, because my happiness is on the line now, as well as hers, and if she hides it, then I find out, I'll probably take much more drastic measures than I would otherwise.

If the promise is broken.. I will leave her -- but, I'll stay her friend.. but if the promise is broken, and she doesn't tell me for a very long time.. then, I'll kind of hate her for keeping it from me for so long.. and it'll pretty much obliterate any chances I have of getting back with her, in the far future.. if that's even a possibility.

Being single for so long, I do realize how easily I can find another girl to fill her spot.. but finding someone to replace her, that's a needle in a haystack as big as a mountain..

But yeah.. if she breaks the promise, I won't be able to date anyone for a very, very long time... 30 yrs+, maybe.. and if I do date someone, and this is something I know for sure -- even if I do date someone else in the future.. but if I do date someone else.. it'll take me years before I trust them even a little bit.. and even more before I give them 80% trust.. I'll never fully love them with all of my heart, I'll hold a little bit back, for fear of being stung..

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me..