As I lie here in my bed and wait for darkness to take me away,
I dread waking up tomorrow to another meaningless day.
I'm alone and the room is so dark, but outside the world is so cold.
To the eyes of everyone I am a child, but my soul still feels so old.
I stopped searching long ago for someone who feels the same as me,
Time is all I have and its wasted since I have no reason to "be".
I hate myself with a passion, I hate this life with such distaste.
Any attempt to make it seem purposeful proves to be a waste.
Sin so deep, scarred to the bone, I can't bleed it all out if I try.
Cut so deep, the pain don't ease, in this shell I live a lie...
Trying hard to distract myself from the sickness that lives within
I laugh, I love, I cry, I bleed. I try, yet sex is still my sin.
Show passion, give love, I share, I care and open up my heart,
The only justice I have to give myself, but it still only heals a part.
So confused I curse his name, wait for answers, wait for reasons
As I walk through this desultory world, no longer trying to please him.
No worry left in my heart to care what will be thrown at me when I wake,
I'll laugh at it as I usually do, there is nothing left of me he can take.
Warm to the touch and cold to the soul, my senses are dull and its hard to see
As I lie here in my bed and wish that darkness would please just hurry and take me...
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Its just a journal, does it need a name?
Whatever i feel like.... BTW, All of these poems have been copy-written before they are submitted anywhere, if you copy them, claim them or submit them as your own work you are in violation of the law. Should you be found doing so, I will prosecute