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All a person seems to do now asdays is drift off into their own little world. they say that they're focused and steady when you look at their grades or their friends, you know otherwise.

i guess you can call me one of those people, i drift off and try to be alone but people just seem to folow me everywhere. i find all of these nice people and all they seem to do for me is try to help. i do everything i can to help them back but sometimes i just hurt more than i help.

there are major problems i have that i wish would vanish, they hurt my friends and my loves. if i had control of my own body i wouldnt be the person i am, i would be better than i am. sure my grades are good im not talking about the smarts or anything else, im talking about the personality. if i didnt lasp off and scream and break down, as in i finally had control i wouldnt think the negative thoughts sometimes, or i wouldnt try and end it with the person i care most about and am dating. i would be faithful and i would be kind. but i have no control and i drift, when i do she comes flying out to take control of my life for that split amout of time...and through that time is when i can lose everything.

im trying to be a different person im trying to change, tryng to get more control...but i cant do it on my own, so im asking you people if you can even read this, if your there in person and you know me, please help me out and listen to me when i go on my crazy rant, if i get negative try and make me better. i may hurt your feelings then but i apologize, i just need help, i cant do this on my own.

then again i dont know if any one major can help except for my close friends and my lovee, everyone else seems to be far away. i guess this was another ranting session only on the internet. so now you guys must know who i truely am now...