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Lilly's Diary
personal thoughts here
I wasn't strong enough...
((this is completely random.. it doesn't relate to anything.. but I feel like writing it))

I wasn't strong enough, and everything failed... I let everyone around me down... all of my plans went to s**t, all of my ideas, hopes, and dreams crashed around me.. in the end, I can't say I did anything right...

As you're reading this, I will be gone.. dead? perhaps.. perhaps.. missing? more likely than not.. where have I gone, is surely the question on your mind at the moment.. but the WHERE isn't as important as the WHEN.. .. . . surely this will be discovered as soon as you realize i'm missing, but how long will that take? a day? a week? a month? a year? I'd like to think only a day.. but likely it will be a week at minimum, in which my escape, will be guaranteed.

The when isn't exactly a place I can tell.. but not because I don't wish to be found.. it's because I don't know how to explain where I'll be. I'm planning, to, atleast, escape somwhere where failures like myself are commonplace, and we're allowed to die with what little dignity we manage to scrape together in our final years. It's nowhere anyone would've ever heard off -- I myself am not even sure of the place.. but I will end up there.. how do I know? because failures are drawn there.. such as success draws the successful, failure draws the failures.

You may think I'm sad, in writing this.. but no, I'm actually happier than I've ever been. I'm finally going to where I belong, where that is specifically, I'm still unsure -- but I do know that I shall belong there...I may find success in all the failure, learn from the mistakes of those who have had as much misery as myself.. but is it plausible to guarantee me any change? why no, no it's not. It's more likely I"ll sit alone and die, as is the custom with failures such as myself.

((PLEASE please remember that I'm not writing this seriously, I just needed to write SOMETHING.. and the somber mood of where I'm sitting, along with the music, and the atmosphere, spawned this. I'm not going to run away, kill myself, or do anything drastic.. I just needed to write, and so I wrote.))





 
 
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