Sonic the Hedgehog
[So Sonic, Shadow, and Charmy are stuck in the basement while the Tailsdoll is just waiting OH SO patiently to kick their asses...]
Charmy: Shadoo, why'd you buy this mansion if you know it was haunted? This is the stupidest mistake since I decided to live here.
Shadow: Shut up. And if you keep calling me that, I swear to God, I'm going to light you on fire.
Charmy: WILL THAT GIVE ME FIRE POWERS LIKE A FIRE TYPE POKEMANZ?
Sonic: Srsly, stfu. Part of the deal was, we weren't supposed to mention Pokemon until they actually appear in this comedy.
Shadow: Can we get back to the damn matter at hand? We are all going to die if we don't.
Charmy: WILL DYING GIVE ME DEATH POWERS!?
Shadow: I'm about to give you a... [Sigh.] Okay, here's the plan. We'll go at him individually. First will be Sonic.
Shadow: Then I'll go, then Charmy'll give it a shot. If that doesn't work... well, I'll think of something.
Sonic: Your idea is really stupid.
Shadow: Stupid? THIS. IS. SPARTA!!! [Kick Sonic in the gut, knocking him into the room where Tailsdoll is waiting, bored.]
Tailsdoll: So I see you've decided to show yourselves to the darkness. Now I will say this. You must submit to my new empire.
Sonic: Your... new empire?
Tailsdoll: Don't make me kill you.
Sonic: Tailsdoll, my allegiance is to the repurblic! To democrarcy!
Tailsdoll: If you're not with me, then you will end by me.
Sonic: Nowai in hell. I'll do what I must... [Takes out a lightsaber.]
Tailsdoll: You will die. [Takes out lightsaber.]
[They charge each other. Tailsdoll knocks Sonic's lightsaber out of his hand. It flies away.]
Sonic: [Chases after his lightsaber.] Aiaiaiaiaiai!!!
Tailsdoll: [Lightsaber disappears.] Ya! You bettar run!
Sonic: [Returns to the basement, even though he was chasing his lightsaber which was flying upward, not down. But whatever. You know what I mean. Not really. Dammit... I messed this action up. I could just delete it, but... Whatever again.] Okay. Shadow, it's up to you.
Shadow: ...So be it. [Skates to the room with the Tailsdoll.] Takes this. [Tosses a handgun to Tailsdoll, who catches it.]
Tailsdoll: 'The hell...?
Shadow: [Takes out his shotgun and turns around.] Ten paces forward, then shoot. [Moves as he counts. Tailsdoll just watches...] One... Two... Three...
Tailsdoll: [Just shoots him.]
Shadow: [Despite beign shot, he's fine. Turns around.] Now why would you do that...? Why'd you do that? INcredibly rude... You're a jerk. Y-you're a jerk!
Tailsdoll: [Shoots a lazar.]
[Shadow returns to the basement.]
Shadow: Charmy, it's your turn.
Charmy: Oh crap...Well, at least I don't have to worry about him stealing my soul, seeing as I already sold mine!
Sonic: What... When did you sell your soul?
Charmy: A couple months ago...
[Flashback. Charmy and Espio are arguing.]
Espio: [olding a can of DW-40 with one hand in the air.] No! You cannot have this back! You must learn from your mistakes!
Charmy: [Reaching for it.] Nuuu!! Gimme gimme gimme! [He flies up to it.]
Espio: [Makes the can disappear with ninjistu.] Hmph.
Charmy: Huh!? WHAAA!!!! [Pouts.] Espio, I hate u!
Espio: Before you begin crying, you go apologize to the neighbors for burning their cat. [Leaves.]
[An hour later.]
Charmy: [Grumpy, sitting on the couch.] ...I'd do anything for that can... I got it... Satan, I offer u my soulsorz for a new can of WD-40!
[Charmy warps to hell. The devil appears.]
Satan: Herro, Charmy. Do you really want to offer me your soul for a new can of WD-40?
[A flash of some random colored light.]
Satan: Alright, there's an extra can of WD-40 under the couch.
[Back to the present.]
Charmy: Just leave this to me! [Flies out of the basement.]
[He's floating in the living room, with his can of DW-40.]
Charmy: Oh hello, Mr. Doll.
Tailsdoll: [O_o] ...Hello.
Charmy: You had a lightsaber fight with Sonic, a duel with Shadow, and now you're going to have a ferocious finale with yours truly.
[Back at the basement.]
Sonic: Huh... I never knew Charmy knew such big words. Shadow. What're you doing?
Shadow: ...Conducting a plan be for when Charmy loses.
[Back in the living room.]
Charmy: [Shaking the can of DW-40 violently.] WHY WON'T THIS FREAKING THING WORK!?
Tailsdoll: [Arms crossed. [>.>]] ... [<.<]
Charmy: Ah-ha, here we go! [Aims the can at Tailsdoll. It blows up in his face instead, knocking him outta the scene. Yeah that's right. "Outta."]
Tailsdoll: [-_-] Moron.
Shadow: I got it. [Charmy flies into his face.] SON OF A b***h!!!! [Rams into the wall.] [Pulls Charmy off his face.] GODDAMMIT CHARMY! Why didn't you die from that in the first place...?
Charmy: [Regains consciousness.] Why didn't you die when you got shot?
Shadow: Uh... How'd you know I got SHOT in the first place?
Charmy: How'd you know I got BLASTED in the first place?
[They both turn to Sonic.]
Shadow & Charmy: How'd YOU know about the big words!?
Sonic: I have my resources. What's ur plan, Shadoo?
Shadow: Okay, well--GODAMMIT! THE NEXT PERSON WHO CALLS ME SHADOO GETS A CHAOS SPEAR UP THE a**!
[Black out... then fade in.]
Shadow: And that's my plan. But we need someone to put the superglue on the seat. That'd be you, Charmy.
Charmy: Wha...? NU! Why should I have to do it!? Why can't Sonic do it? He hasn't done like anything this entire time!
Sonic: Would ya do it for a Charmysnack?
Charmy: What the barf's a Charmysnack?
Sonic: How 'bout two?
Charmy: No srsly, what's a Charmysnack?
Sonic: Three Charmysnacks?
Charmy: Make it four and I'll do it.
Sonic: Deal. [Throws four unidentified snacks at Charmy, who catches them in his mouth.]
Charmy: And off I go. [Flies away.]
[After about 5 minutes.]
Charmy: [Returns.] Ok I'm dorne. Now we wait.
[In a room with a desk, desk chair, and computer. Tailsdoll appears.]
Tailsdoll: [Notices disturbing things.] 'The ******** is this s**t? [Sits down and looks at it. There's a picture with Tailsdoll's head pasted on an old guy wearing cut off shorts and a baggy shirt. It says, "Tales Doll are gay."] [-.-]
"TOBY MAGUIRE IN... SEABISCUIT!"
Talesdoll: Seabiscuit? This movie sucks. [Tries to get off the chair.] Wait. What's going on? I'm stuck to the chair! Help!! I can't watch this stupid film. Nu!!
[2 hrz latar.]
[Sonic, Shadow, and Charmy entar the room. Tailsdoll's eyes have disappeared.]
Sonic: Well it looks like your plan worked Shadow.
Charmy: I think he was so protective of this mansion, he tried to scare us away.
Tailsdoll: [Eyes return.] And I would've gotten away with it to, if it weren't for you meddling... animals.
Shadow: I thought you were dead...
Tailsdoll: [Eyes disappear again.]
[They return to the foyer.]
Shadow: Well, it's been a long day. I'm going to bed.
Sonic: Yeah. I'm... gonna get going... now... See you tomorrow guyus.
Shadow: Yeah... see you.
[Sonic leaves. Shadow goez upstairs.]
Charmy: Whoa. Sweet! For once, I didn't get my a** kicked! Things are looking up! [Grins.]
[Random car hits Charmy.]
Charmy: [On the ground.] MYFACE!
Tailsdoll: Haha... You can't kill the Tailsdoll... but... I can kill you...
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