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pam_rdz_garcia
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So I was walking from work on a Tuesday night rolleyes . -The 28th of this month, to be exact...then again, you might be reading this in a different month, so .... let me put the date July 28th, 2009-

It was around 10:26 pm when I got off and started walking home. I didn't ask for a ride because none of the people that were left, went my way, -I had a bad feeling, and was about to ask my co-worker...but... he's ....very...weird, and I just met him so...I said to myself; "no...". - so I didn't wanted to bug them...except for Candy (my mentor...and someone whom I had already made some arrangements with 3nodding ).
And like I've said, my relationship w/my 'father' is NOT good, I don't even believe there is such a connection!! stare
My mom panics when it comes to drive, so she doesn't know how to, and my brother is wayyy to young to drive -besides, I wouldn't really trust him behind the wheel sweatdrop .Anyway...


"Besides, it's not like it's that far" - I thought. I mean, seriously, my house it's like 15-18 min. 3nodding from there and ....well, I'm used to walk sweatdrop ...A LOT (anytime; from school, from the library, from Walmart, from Ryo's home, even from Hina Naru's place) 3nodding . So, as usual, I plug in the earbuds and turned on my mp3...started walking.
So, just as always... I'm listening to either Caramell Dansen or Kimi Monogatari.... and then Hare Hare Yukai but since I don't have a memory card to keep my favs. in a single place I have to switch several times. Anyway, I was already coming into my neighborhood (all those dark, unknown areas behind now) when I see a guy near the office -I though he was checking his mail or something, since the mail box is right there, I mean, it happens; I remember one of my ex's forgot to put a letter in the mail one day, and when he recalled he had to send it, it was already night.
So I didn't pay any attention at all, in fact, I just looked down to my mp3 to change the song and as I started looking up, I see the guy taking out a gun.
.....
First thought to cross my mind;
"Great! Just what I needed!! *sarcasticly* .... *sigh* "

So, you all know how it went:
He said;
"Give me anything of value or I'll shoot you".
Me; "You got..to be kidding me"
"No, I'm not.Give me your money" -he demanded, but I was not in the mood....so I just look at him and said; "Are you serious?... stare "
"yeah, I'm serious, see this? *shows the bullet inside the gun while still aiming at me* it's real" -he replied.
".... Never seen one *turn my head with indefferent tone* So I wouldn't know how it l- [looks]"
So..then he shoots the street; "Well, now you KNOW, it's real, so give me your money!!" he said again, this time, his voice was raised.
*sigh* "..I don't have any... " -I told him. In the meantime, Raven (one of my inner voices was like; "Let's just grab the gun off of his hands, kick him in his b@ll$ and turn the tables on him by reaching for the gun" ) But that's Raven, not me, besides, what if the gun goes off while struggling to get it off his hands? What if he shoots me w/out really meaning to? or what if I shoot him? and end up accidentally killing him? I don't want to do that!! even if it is in self-defense, because to God's eyes.....killing still a sin. And I'm trying my best to keep myself away from evil things like that. And what if he had already steal from someone who ended up doing that to him, wouldn't he be prepare this time?... *sigh, shakes head* Anyway, going back to the story.I thought about doing so, but apparently he saw it in my eyes and close in the guy aiming my head....

I must admit...there was a moment there...where ..... I couldn't care...less... I felt, ....like ....so many bad things had been happening that ...one more wasn't going to make a difference...and that...I'd tried to kill myself so many times in the past...that I didn't felt scare.....I was rather curious....but further more....sad....
I ...was so...dissapointed in life...at that moment... with a failed life (I mean, I don't even have my diploma yet...when I should have)...Antoni just died.... .... cry *cries* ..... then Weston is acting like a Jerk!! scream .. emo ....I won't be seeing Ryo in a long time now -heck! I rarely see him even now...wonder how's going to be, later on?!?!... *sob* ...I don't even know where I'm gonna go next to finish High School... I haven't seen my friends in soo...long ....I can't even recall the last time we were actually together... -I miss you guys.... I miss Anime Club, Mister T. ... the anphi-threater.... *feeling blue w/out u all*.....and people like Lorena (at work) make me feel like... cry I'm useless and don't make a difference.......


He didn't believe what I'd told him {I was like; if I HAD any money, I would have called a taxi! For crying out loud. And wouldn't be having to deal w/low lives like you} , so, he grabs the zippers of my kangooroo bag and opens it, trying to reach anything that seems valuable while closing in the gun even more, this time, aiming my chest.
So he takes out my wallet (in which I, strangely, never actually put money in, I actually have it to keep my id's n such in order).
While he was doing this, a car came in from the highway, and another one from w/in the neighborhood. I knew one of these cars had something to do w/this, so I tried to look at their tags the thing is that.... they crossed by each others sides at the same time, forbidden me (by doing so) to succesfully looking at them... then the one coming from inside the neighborhood speeded up all the way to the entrance of the neighborhood.
~So that's the one...makes sense~ I thought w/Raven's mentality.
So, the guy starts going around me and then runs towards the car while I start chasing after him (and at the same time another random guys starts coming out of the neighborhood w/his bike).

I had almost caught up w/the robber...when he turns smiling -as if he had actually score in some easy money
~I would love to have seen his face when he discovered that there was nothing but my id's, and those ones, can't be used because 1- the only one that could have been used is about to expire, and 2- I'm the only one w/that pic. and finger prints..but anyway~
and sees me, so he starts shooting the ground I was going to step on, to keep me from following him I didn't stop because I knew that those would come in handy later on...so I kept on going until one of the ... -forgot how to spell it >>'.... hope it's right...- cases hit my right head phone and made if fly off my ear....
that's when I stopped....because...right at that moment...a voice inside me said Ryo's real name.... so I just grab the air near my bossom...recalling the pendant I used to wear....and remembering how much I love him....how he brings color and meaning in and to my life... ......then... I had another inside moment w/one of my sides, but this time it wasn't w/Raven, it was w/Zyn!....well....actually Zyn's former self, when she was little....and ....good confused ~Yeah, I'm also confuse....~ ...it was like a quick flash, a backflash; In it a voice asked her if she wanted to be apart from them, she said "no...." in a faint way.... ...she look very sad......and lonely.... and the background of that memory was nothing but gray walls...w/a fading light in one of the sides.... She was stading up....but barely moving.... It took me a moment to realize it had been her and not
Celebi ...-who would be someone I would have expected a memory like this coming from-

There are so many things I don't know about her...even though, she's practically me...in this earth.... her own demons keep me away... they've become my evryday torment now.... I don't know what to think when it comes to her, I mean, she's my dark side....now....but....it wasn't always like that... and I don't know what change her!!
Or maybe ...I just want to see ....good still lives in her...maybe I'm just fooling my self....and don't want to see the truth. Anyway...
After that flashback, I thought about my mom, brother, friends.....all of them at once.... wouldn't they also feel hurt if I died? If...I was selfish enough to think about my own pain, and...not the one I could cause w/my death... ..... So I had to suppress Raven's anger to keep me in the safe side.... (I know the guy didn't wanted to kill me, but that he would shoot me if he had to....) ....then I just tried to look at the tag of the car...but... a sudden thought crossed my mind; "what if ...whoever was w/him, had another gun?" -Because....that guy had already shoot like 5 times...and I know most type of those guns have up to 6 bullets only....so.... there was only one left... but what about the person or people inside the car?..... Didn't got to actually see it..[the tag-thing on the car] because they took off... and I was still far from it to see it clearly.


While this was happening the car that had gone inside the neighborhood started backing up all the way until it got to where I was standing and the guys in it asked what happen, I told them very quick and asked for a phone. I dial 911 n explained what happen, then called my house and told my mom...she came out of the house runing, to meet me, and I had run to meet w/her....my brother had heard the conversation when I called, so he called my 'dad' who also run to me -According to them he had gotten worried and all, ....but I don't want to get my hopes up again....
As soon as the police arrived they started questioning us (the guys in the car and the dude w/the bicycle; who were testifying as witnesses). One of them started writting the facts, while the other officer searched for lost bullets or cases, etc....and he found one in a hole made w/the pressure of the shot..... -he was already wearing gloves n all. Put it up in a plastic bag, and went back searching.... didn't found anything else since it was so dark and not very visible....

As soon as all that was over, we headed straight home and I quickly grabbed the phone and called Ryo....but no one answered...then I recalled that around that time, he's in the computer....so I turned on mines and talk to him...then he called me on the phone to talk more comfortably and all.... He wanted to kill that guy....but I told him that would only make him even worse than that guy himself!.....
In the meantime, my parents talked;

'Dad': Who's she calling?
Mom: Her boyfriend *stares at him*
'Dad': ..... Why didn't she called me to pick her up?
Mom: UHm...and you still ask?...don't you see how you guys treat each other? Especially you?!! You know this is your fault, right? She wouldn't be walking late if you were a different type of person.
'Dad': ...

Ryo visitted me the next day, and also walked me to work whee It was really cute of him heart

That same day my lil' brother n 'dad' went looking for more evidence, and found more cases. The police now has them and are investigating (or so they say ninja ).

And that's it, that's exactly what happen.....this Tuesday night.... I couldn't sleep ... I was mad at myself for having put all my id's in that wallet....well...actually...not because of that...but because my Middle School Id. from Mexico was there....and now...it's lost....now everything I got left from my early teen age and....as precious memories from my old self, are pictures....... well, some report cards,
but who actually wants those? ninja .... stare .... sad ..



Anyways....write to you guys later..take care sweatdrop




 
 
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