Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Ok... so the past few weeks haven't been very good for me and I have learned a few things about life... My very best friend came down from new york and spent a little over a month with me! The day after she gets here my Aunt passed away this being less than a year from the passing of my mother and uncle in March and May of 08. I was very upset that she passed away however she was suffering I hated to see her in that state. It wasn't the person that I remember when I was growing up and though I would give anything in the world to have her here with me, if it was to be in the state and that condition, I would rather not. After my Aunt passed away I needed to get out of town for a little bit which was good, because me and and friend has already planned a trip to Las Vegas, to see another really really good friend mine, I say mine but she was my other friends friend too... hehe... anyawys we get down there and we had a blast the drive there was amazing I had so much fun I really did... I enjoyed every minute of the drive... My friend drove, for two reason A: we were in a rental and she swears up and down that I am the worst driver she has ever been the car with lmao... and secondly it really wasnt a very good idea that I drive because I had been having seizers and all that there good stuff.... my friend asked me on the way there and on the way back how come I was not like every other person in the world that goes on a long road trip and sleep. I told her simply because I love to look at all the cool things I never got to get out much as a kid and adventure and explore so I love to get in the car and just ride.. I never sleep in a car unless im sick then I might doze off or take care nap but that is highly unlikely for me.

anyways we were in Vegas for about 2 weeks well the trip was 2 weeks long... when we got back here we continued to hang out and I got to meet a friend of hers that she knew from college really nice person blunt and out spoken but very nice person I took to her well or course now we dont talk about of the crap that went down which is where im going with this whole thing... my friends friend had a pool it was awesome I could have stayed in that pool for weeks at a time I love to swim I discovered that and you know swimming is very good exerise and lord knows i need the excersise not too much physical activity excites me i dont like to clean I dont like to cook I mean I guess if I had someone to teach me to cook I would like to learn but I just never really took a liking to kitchen and stuff like I have always been more of a book worm so to speak. I like to be online reading about cool things or I like to read books and stuff but that is besides the point I am sooo getting off the subject here lmao.

well needless to say that time came that my friend had to return to work and her home where she belongs. (hopefully she will stay there)
The day she was to leave I felt this weird pain I had never felt before I mean yes she had come here and left before but this time I dont know something was weird I had this hurt this sence of loss or something and so the last day she was here I spent bawling because deep down something was telling me that I would never see her again
boy was that feeling right you wouldnt believe the s**t that went down once she got back home

before I got into that I need to mention that my friend was the best friend I ever and had and will prolly be the only one in my life time like her... she was very good to me she di a lot for me and she really made sure that I didnt go without anything and she did more for me than my family ever thought about doing for me.... and I took that for granted and in some ways I used her and abused and let me tell you something if I learned anything from all of this its three things

Dont take people for granted because you never know when they will just up and leave and turn on you....


dont ever trust anyone with your secrets because when they turn on you they will use what you have told them in privacy to bring you down and they will do something they know will get to you through you weakness dont let anyone know what you weakness is and what you are most afraid of in life because they will use it against you every single time...

dont lie... it gets you nowhere but in a world of hell... one lie can lead to another and another and another and another and before you know it you caught up in a world of lies and you dont know what the truth is and you cant say anything you want because you dont know if you have said something previous to it that was a lie and you say something and you gotta back it up and try to fix it and make it right and im telling you lying just ruins peoples lives it might get you what you want at the time but in the long wrong you will loose what you had plus some and you will end up hurting like you have never hurt in your life.... and believe when you get known as a liar you you dont get that trust back very easily and you cant just make everything ok either. you just have to go around trying to prove that what you are saying is the truth and believe me that is something that you never ever ever ever want to have to go through

you have to be careful your choices in life and you have to remember that even though someone is your friend doesnt mean that they are others friends and doesnt mean that if you push them too far they wont come back and bite you in the a** to look out for themselves and their well being .... you have to really be careful who you tell what to boy did I learn that the hard way I really and truly did....


life really never goes as planned you never know what is going to happen from one minute to the next you cant count of anyone to ever be there for you forever eventually the ones that are there will turn and run if you use them too much or rely on them too much for things that you might could have done yourself and that you might could have had someone else help you with .... remember if you can do it on your own then do it because i have always learned that when you rely on someone too much and they finally get sick and say your on your own that you really end up needed them and remember this too never ever pass up a chance to tell the truth on something because you might not get another chance and that chance you had might be the difference between alot you just never know


anyways I have said enough about what I have learned over the past few weeks... I just needed to share that life will kick you in the a** if you dont watch it and you cant treat people any old way and think that they will just keep taking and taking and taking because eventaully they will snap and either come after you to hurt you like you hurt them only worse or they will just walk away and never look back luckily I did have a few friends that stuck by my side and didnt leave me and im thankful because it could have been a lot worse and let me say this when things really get bad and things get out that you have done that youre not proud or wish you hadnt done then you will find out who really cares and who really doesnt and you will find out who is your friend and who is putting up a front....

but someone wise told me people enter into friendships for diferent reason and poeple end friendships for different reasons just because you end a friendship with someone because they hurt you or ******** you over and whatever the case my be doesnt mean that everyone else that is that persons friend is going to do the same they really and truly arent going to do the same they are going to say im sorry that things didnt work out between the two of you but you know what I seem to think that she is a good person still or I am not finished making this or that you never know why someone befriends you that should be something you find out from the start why is this person wanting to be my friend do they want money do they want attention do they want companionship what are they looking to gain out of being your friend ....are they trying to get in good with you because they like someone that you are close to or related to thinking that if they kiss your a** then they might have chance with the other person you never know why someone does what they do you have to really think what could they gain because 99% of the world out there they are just looking out for them and the ones they love they are not interested in you and your feelings at all.....

im out ttyl
ttfn
clovers