:: Trial of Ian-Day 1
Cindy Donovinh here at the Durem Courthouse.
Today is the day. Ian, the shop owner of Barton Boutique is on trial for premeditated arson at the Gambino mansion on October 30th, 2005. It was quite shocking news when we all found out that Ian may have been responsible for this horrible act!
Today, the residing judge is none other than JudgeBot 502X. He has a long history of unbiased decision making most likey due to his extensive programming.
The prosecution is represented by ProsecutionBot 508Z. He has a longtime conviction rate of 97%. I hear he was programmed with human-like emotions giving himself insight into how humans will react to testimonies.
As for the defense, that role will be taken by DefenseBot 513A. This is DefenseBot 513A's first trial. In fact, DefenseBot 513A just rolled off of the assembly line this morning. It will be interesting to see how he fairs against the PBot 508Z.
The trial is just beginning, let's now go live to the opening statements!
~
We now begin the trial of Ian. Will the prosecution please start his opening statement. 
Thank you, your honor. Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury... Imagine that you have been invited to the biggest party in all of the world. Everyone who's anyone is going to be there. It is going to be the biggest party ever celebrated in your lifetime.
You arrive and everything is great until you notice the smoke. There is a fire engulfing the roof of the mansion. Everyone scatters. People are trapped inside. It is a nightmare. However, in this case, this is a reality.
For on the night of October 30th, 2005, the defendant IAN set fire to the Gambino mansion in a premeditated crime of hate that had festering inside of his sick mind for years.
Throughout the course of this trial, we will establish that Ian has a long history of resentment and jealousy against the Gambino family. In particular, Ian had a clear motive of jealousy against Gino Gambino. We will also show you ironclad evidence that there was no mistake that Ian was, in fact, on the premises at the time of the arson. We will also show that Ian is a man who is prone to acts of violence.
At the end of this trial, there will be no doubt that IAN was responsible for the act of arson at the Gambino mansion.
~
Thank you, PBot 508Z. Will the defense please start his opening statement. 
Humanoid females and males assigned to the jury... *clang clang* If you have two objects of mass m 1 and m 2 at a distance d, then these two objects will attract each other with a force F.
Conversely, if we were to ... *clang clang* Pardon me. Let me provide a situational context that will more closely apply to the humanoid species.
Have you ever been situated in an incorrect space at an undesignated timeframe? *clang clang*
This is exactly what the defendant currently finds himself in.
For, you see, Ian is a simple man who runs the most reliable shop in Barton Town. In this trial, we will establish that Ian is a good humanoid who is incapable of the acts that he is being accused of. He was," simply at the wrong place at the wrong time." This is typical of humanoids.
Thank you. *clang clang*
~
The prosecution may call its first witness. The prosecution calls Ruby to the stand. Please state your name and occupation for the court record. 
My name is Ruby and I run the Gambino Hat Rack with my son, Peyo. The Gambino Hat Rack. I see. That's a very successful business you have there wouldn't you say? Why yes, the Gambino Hat Rack has the widest assortment of headgear and hats in all of Gaia. We are very fortunate to have gotten such prime real estate in the heart of the Marketplace in the Isle De Gambino. Yes, that IS very fortunate. And exactly how did you get such a prime location? It was actually given to me as a present. It used to be the location of the Gambino Boutique. The Gambino Boutique? You mean the shop now known as the Barton Boutique? Yes, the very same. Doesn't Ian run the Barton Boutique? Yes, he does. Well, not now, that is... his cat Rufus is running the store while he is in jail. Do you know Ian well? Why, yes, I grew up with Ian. Then you would know how Ian felt about losing his store on Gambino Isle? Yes. Ian was very upset by this. His family had entrusted the store to him only a month before it was taken away by the Island authorities. I see. And why was it that the store was taken away from him? I'm not too sure of the specifics, but apparently when the deed was signed over, some incongruities in the paperwork exposed that the plot of land belonged to the Island and not an individual. And who was in charge of this acquisition? Johnny K. Gambino. THE Johnny K. Gambino? Of the Gambino family? Of the Isle De Gambino? Yes. And you say that Ian was upset by this? Yes. Would you say that Ian resented the Gambino family for taking his store away from him? OBJECTION! *clang clang* The witness cannot speculate on this matter. Let me rephrase the question. In your opinion, is it possible that Ian held some resentment against the Gambino family because of this incident? I suppose he could have. Ian's always been pretty quiet about the Gambino's ever since then. Especially when I mention Johnny. God bless his soul. Thank you, Ruby. I have no further questions. ~
The defense may begin the cross examination. Your designation is Ruby. You claim that you have recollection of the humanoid Ian for most of your bio organic existance? Is this correct? Why yes, I grew up with Ian. How would you assign verbal descriptions to the humanoid Ian? Excuse me? Pardon me. Let me rephrase. *clang clang* How would you “describe Ian?” Well, Ian is a nice guy. And I can depend on him when Peyo needs babysitting. Peyo gets along very well with Ian. Would Ian ever harm a humanoid such as Peyo? Never. Ian may be a little spastic at times, but he wouldn’t hurt anyone. End sequence of questions. Thank you, Ruby. Thank you, Ruby. You may step down now.~
The prosecution may call its next witness. The prosecution calls Meredith of the Bank of Gambino. Please state your name and occupation for the court. 
My name is Meredith and I am the manager of the Bank of Gambino. It is my understanding that you keep records of every transaction in Gaia, is that correct? Yes. At the Bank of Gambino, every transaction is logged at the time of the transaction so that we can keep records in case of hacking, scamming or other situations that a record would be useful. Do you have records of the transaction that occurred when the Gambino Boutique was reclaimed by the Island? Of course, I handled that transaction personally. Can you please describe how you became involved in that transaction? Yes, I remember it very vividly. This was many years ago, I was just starting out at the Bank and this was my first time brokering a transaction like this. Johnny K. Gambino recruited me right out of college when I was 15 specifically for this transaction. You are a very intelligent young lady aren’t you? Especially for having graduated from Durem University at such a young age. You might say that. I graduated with top honors and first in my class. OBJECTION! *clang clang* What is the relevance of this line of questioning? I am merely establishing the credibility of this witness. Overruled. You may continue Pbot508Z, but please get to the point. Yes, your honor. Meredith, please describe what happened during the transaction in question? Well, that day I had prepared all of the paperwork and both Ian and Mr. Gambino had come by in order to sign and notarize the agreement. I see, how did the defendant react in this situation? Did he seem agitated or upset? He seemed a little agitated, definitely upset. I would be upset too if my family business was being taken away from me a mere month after it was entrusted to me. OBJECTION! *clang clang* The witness will refrain from speculating on what the defendant would be feeling. In your opinion, would you say that Ian was not happy with signing over his store to Johnny K. Gambino? Yes. He was not happy about it. Thank you, Meredith. I have no further questions. ~
The defense may begin the cross examination. The defense has no questions at this time. Very well. Meredith, you may step down. ~
The prosecution may call its next witness. The prosecution calls Sasha of Gambino Outfitters to the stand. Please state your name and occupation for the court record. 
My name’s Sasha and I run Gambino Outfitters which sells the hippest clothes on Gambino Isle. How do you know the defendant? I’ve been friends with Ian for the past few years. We met in the Marketplace when we were both shopping for deals. Ian is very savvy when it comes to deals. I see. So you’re saying that Ian is good at deceiving people? That’s not exactly what I sai— It’s ok. I’ll take your word for it. Now then, it is my understanding that Ian did not want you to go to the mansion that night, is this correct? Yes, I don’t think Ian likes Gino very much. But I have no idea why. He’s just so negative sometimes. Especially when I’m happy about something. Do you think perhaps that Ian could have been jealous of Gino? Huh? What do you mean? Because of your relationship with Gino Gambino! What about Gino Gambino? Isn’t he a dream? *sigh* No no – that’s not what I meant. Nevermind. Sasha, what do you think of Ian? What about him? Do you have feelings for Ian? What do you mean? Ahem. Let me rephrase the question. What is Ian to you? Ian’s my friend. What else would he be? Nevermind. Ok, so, on the day of the fire at the mansion, Ian explicitly told you not to go to the mansion that night did he not? Yes. He told me that I shouldn’t go to the mansion that night. Did he explain why? No, he just seemed very angry with me about it. I still have no idea why. Do you think it’s possible that Ian knew what was about to happen that night and therefore wanted you to stay away? Let me remind you that you are under oath. Well, no … I don’t think – IS IT POSSIBLE that he may have known about what was going to happen? I … I guess it’s possible … Thank you, Sasha. No further questions. ~
The defense may begin the cross examination. Your designation is Sasha. Am I correct in believing that it was both you and the defendant who found Gino Gambino when he washed up on shore after he went missing? Yes. We took care of him until Gino got better. AHA! *clang clang* Well, then, if Ian had ill feelings towards the Gambino’s, why would he allow you to bring Gino home? Well, actually, he didn’t … he didn’t want me to bring Gino home. But I insisted. I couldn’t leave a helpless person to die. But Ian did help did he not? Yes, he helped me prepare food for Gino from time to time. End sequence of questioning. Thank you, Sasha. Sasha, you may step dow— Your honor, if I may, I would like to reexamine the witness. Proceed. Sasha. You mentioned that Ian did not want you to bring Gino home. What were his exact words? Well, it’s been quite a while since then, but I think he said something like,”are you sure that’s a good idea?” and “he’s a Gambino afterall.” I got upset at him for saying that actually. I see. Would you say that Ian holds some kind of grudge against the Gambino family to say such a statement like that? Well, Ian’s never said anything good about the Gambino’s. I think he’s had some issues with them in the past. But Ian would never do anything to hurt anyo— That will be enough, Sasha. Thank you. No further questions. Sasha, you may step down. That concludes today's proceedings. We will continue this bright and early tomorrow morning. Court is adjourned. :: Trial of Ian-Day 2
Cindy Donovinh here at the Durem Courthouse.
Yesterday, we saw some pretty damning testimony from the prosecution witnesses. But so far, none of that testimony showed any real evidence.
Defensebot513A seems definitely out of his league here, but will his adaptive programming step up to the plate in court today?
Let's find out! The proceedings are about to begin!
~
The prosecution may call its first witness of the day. I call Bucho to the stand. Please state your name and occupation for the court record. 
My name is Bucho. I am head of security for Gambino family. I see. So you were in charge of security on the night in question? Affirmative. That night, master Gino ask me to open mansion doors for celebration in honor of his late father, Johnny K. Gambino. You were also in charge of the investigation following the mansion's burning? Affirmative. What did you find? I have security camera footage of defendant. I see. ~The prosecution submits Exhibit A.
What is it that we are looking at here? It is Ian running away from scene of crime. And how is it that you can tell it is the defendant, Ian? As can see, I have magnified parts of feed and it is clear this is Ian. Look at funny hat with leaf and look clothing. It is unmistakeable that this is Ian. While I am inclined to believe you, what with being head of security for over 10 years, might you have any forensic evidence? I mean, what if someone were to masquerade as Ian? though I highly doubt it... I also find evidence inside of mansion which proves Ian was there. ~The prosecution submits Exhibit B.
And what is it that we are looking at here? We recovered burnt bottle of pills. And how does this bottle of pills prove that Ian was there? On bottle, I find fingerprint matching the defendant, Ian. Interesting. And where did you find these pills? Inside of mansion, near back exit. Was that part of the mansion opened up to the public that night? Negative. Guests were only allowed in mansion hall. No one was supposed to be there. So are you saying that Ian somehow gained access to the mansion where he was not supposed to be? And was later seen fleeing the crime scene? Affirmative. Thank you, Bucho. I have no further questions. ~
Defensebot, your witness. Your designation is Bucho. You claim to be in charge of security for the Gambino family? Affirmative. For over a decade. Do you possess any visual information pertaining to the actual act of the incendiary process? ... I do not comprehend the question. Pardon me. *clang clang* Let me rephrase the question. Do you "have any actual footage of the defendant starting the fire?" Negative. But him fleeing the crime is pretty suspicious, no? I understand that you were also in charge of security for 2k4's Halloween Bash at the Gambino mansion? Affirmative. Is it not true that that event also ended in a disaster? Nothing that could not be contained. A low yield nuclear blast is not exactly something someone would do if something could be contained, sir. Why I-- Can you explain to the court how come a trusted head of security is able to screw up the simple process of "security" year after year resulting in thousands of deaths? You need to stop little bot if you don't want to get hurt. ORDER! ORDER!! How is it that you are still head of security after FAILING to do your job year after year? I will KILL you little bot. ORDER! ORDER!! That's it, security, take Bucho off of the stand! I'll be BACK.~
The prosecution may call its next witness. The prosecution calls Geebus to the stand. Please state your name and occupation for the court record. 
I am Geebus, head butler of the Gambino Estate. Could you please explain to the court what happened on the night of the New Year's celebration in the Gambino Mansion in Durem? The defendant, Ian, tried to enter the mansion with his feline, sir. Did you let him enter? Well, no sir. There is a strict non-animal policy in the mansion hall. I simply told him he could not enter with his feline. How did the defendant react? Well, look at me! He assaulted me, sir. If you ask Geebus, that was quite uncalled for. What were the injuries inflicted upon you by the defendant? I have a sprained neck and my jaw had to be wired, sir. Thank you, Geebus. That is all. ~
Defensebot, you may begin the cross examination. Your designation is Geebus, the head butler of the Gambino Estate. If you ask Geebus, I'd say you were correct, sir. *clang clang* Excuse me, but isn't your designation, Geebus? Yes, and I'm telling you that you are correct, sir, if you ask Geebus. *clang clang* ask ... Geebus ... *clang clang* I said, I am Geebus, sir. *clang clang* Redundant Memory Error ... ORDER! ORDER!! ~
Shocking! Defensebot 513A has malfunctioned! The techs are currently working to fix the problem. The judge has relieved Geebus until then...
*UPDATE*
The techs have successfully rebooted DefenseBot 513A and he is working normally now.
I believe that is all for the prosecution witnesses. The defense will now start calling their witnesses.
~
The defense may now call its first witness. The defense would like to call Leon to the stand. Please verbally state your designation and occupation for entry into the court record database. 
Name's Leon. I patrol and guard Barton and, in my spare time, I run the Gaia Guild Registry. How have you come into acquaintance with the defendant? I know everyone in Barton. That's my job. What is your opinion of Ian? He's an upstanding chap. Gives me deals in his boutique. I like him. Do you think Ian is capable of the crime in question? Nah. Ian's not the physical type. He's kinda spastic sometimes, but that's just cause he's weird. He's not a bad guy though. Thank you, Leon. End sequence of questioning. ~
ProsecutionBot, your witness. So you run the Gaia Guild Registry? I take it this means that you are very aware of what's going on in the Gaian community? Um ... of course. You said it yourself, you run the Guild Registry in your SPARE time and yet you expect the jury to believe that you are intouch with the community when you spend all of your time patrolling Barton? Well ... um, yeah. Can you please tell the court what "G-Team" is? Um ... I'd rather not talk about it. No one is supposed to know about that. Well then, let me explain it for you. This G-Team is a little club you run with two other washed up old men as you masquerade as "superheroes" trying to save Gaia. Well, I ... And so here we have it, Leon-- a full-time Barton Patrolman, a part-time Guild Registry Manager AND a full-time SUPERhero?! Come now, Leon. Do you honestly expect us to believe that you have any time to really get to know anyone in the community? Um ... Were you EVEN aware that there are tons of anti-Ian threads all around Town? Did you know that there are anti-Ian guilds in the registry? Well, no... not really. NOT REALLY ... is what you say. NOT REALLY, indeed. I have no further questions. Leon, you may step down. ~
Defensebot, please call your next witness. The defense would like to call Moira to the stand. Please verbally state your designation and occupation for entry into the court record database. 
I'm Moira. I run the Durem Depot where we sell all the alternative styles of clothing in Gaia. How is it that you are acquainted with the defendant, Ian? I know him through our mutual friend, Sasha. We all hangout every now and then. I take it that you are well acquainted with the defendant then. What is your opinion of Ian? Well, he's got not clue when it comes to women that's for sure. But he's a harmless guy. Like most guys, non-aggro ... never knowing how to express themselves and their emotions. Know what I mean? I do not comprehend. Do you think the defendant is capable of the crime he is being accused of? Nah, Ian can be kind of spastic sometimes, but as I said before... he's non-aggro. Will probably end up living with cats when he's old an gray. No offense, Ian. Just calling it like I see it. Thank you, Moira. End sequence of questioning. ~
ProsecutionBot, your witness. Moira, you seem to be pretty knowledgeable about relationships and the feelings of people in your circle. Well, yeah. I can read people pretty good. I got a lot of street smarts. Then you must've known about Ian's feelings for Sasha. Duh! Who didn't know about that? Apparently Sasha didn't, but anyways, have you noticed Ian acting differently ever since Gino came into the picture? Well, yeah, I'd be upset too if some broad was jocking on my man. Are you implying that Ian was, in fact, jealous of Gino Gambino? Well, yeah. But I don't think he would ever do any-- Isn't it true that Ian has gotten progressively MORE violent since Sasha started showing an interest in Gino Gambino? Well, sure but still, I think that's only natural when someone doesn't know how to deal with their feelings ... I mean-- YES or NO. Did Ian get more violent since Gino Gambino came into the picture? ... yes. Thank you, Moira. No further questions. Moira, you may step down from the stand. ~
Defensebot, please call your next witness. The defense would like to call Rufus to the stand. Please verbally state your designation and occupation for entry into the court record database. 
woof~! Your designation is woof~!? No, my "designation" is Rufus. I help manage the Barton Boutique with my owner, Ian. So, you are a "talking cat"? Yes, sir! I'm the last of my kind actually. I come from a long line of talking cats that lived with Ian's family tree. You've been acquainted with Ian for an extended period of time? Raised him myself. Well, we've grown up together like family. I take it that you would know Ian the best out of everyone? Better than his mom knows him. Do you think that Ian is capable of the crime he is accused of? Of course not, Ian can be a little spastic sometimes, but that's just how he is. Ian has treated me well, he would never do anything to harm anyone. Trust me. Thank you, Rufus the cat. End sequence of questioning. ~
The prosecution may start the cross examination. Rufus ... the CAT. Am I correct? Woof~! Yes, I am a cat, sir. Then tell me, Rufus the CAT... if you are a indeed a cat... why is it that you bark like a DOG?! I ... don't know. I've always barked since I was little... Do you expect the court to believe anything a "talking cat who barks like a dog" says? That's INSANE. What's not to bel-- No further questions your honor. Rufus, you may step down. That does it for today's testimonies. We will reconvene tomorrow. Court is adjourned. ~
See the Trial of Ian-Day 3 and Closing Arguments here.
