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Gambling

Now we get to the meat of Las Vegas: Gambling.

If you got to Las Vegas, Reno, or basically any casino expecting to win... you're an idiot.

Seriously.

What most Las Vegas casinos pay out is probably about 1/6th of what they take in, and if you compare what you have to pay in to win big, you're definitely walking away a loser.

Yes, there's the rare streaks of luck, or tales of people who win big on their first try, but those stories are VERY rare.

If you're going to gamble in Las Vegas, ONLY gamble what you can AFFORD TO LOSE. This means that if you're going to Las Vegas for your honeymoon, don't hawk your tickets home on one last spin, expecting to win it all back. My mother spoke with a newly wedded bride who's dimwitted excuse for a husband had done just that merely half an hour earlier, so they would have to get someone to wire them money JUST TO GET HOME.

Let's just say, the husband better hope that Las Vegas never allows Drive-Through Divorces.

So, here's a rundown of some basic tips for gamblings:

1) Establish an amount you can easily afford to lose. Place it in one pocket (I'll refer to this as the "Gambling Pocket").

Put the rest of your money, your credit cards, anything you have on you that can be hawked for quick cash, in the other pocket (I'll refer to this as the "Going Home" pocket). NEVER TOUCH what is in the Going Home pocket unless you're outside of the casino and you aren't going to go back in. The sole exception to this is if you're buying souvenirs or paying for dinner.

If it's not in your "gambling" pocket, you can't use it for gambling.

Repeat that mantra to yourself until you convince yourself of it.

If you don't think you can resist, get a friend who doesn't gamble hold all of your money, and said friend will count as your "Going Home" pocket.

2) Put half of your winnings into the "going home" pocket. The other half can go back into the gambling pocket. If you have no winnings, don't concern yourself with this rule.

3) Determine if you're going to gamble "To Win" or "For Fun". "To Win" means that you'll probably run out of money pretty quickly and should only be either for a short trip or if it's the last day. "For Fun" means you should probably play the slots or the cheap tables.

If you play slots, pay attention to how many lines there are, how much each spin will cost you and how much it's actually paying back to you. 2 cent machines can often surprise you because it'll only count HALF of your money, so keep that in mind. (My oldest brother and I pulled about $100 each out of 2 cent machines, each of us thinking we'd done poorly)

If you're playing for fun, you'll probably want your money to last, and you'll probably want to play the various mini-games that some of the video slots have. If this is the case, you should play the maximum number of lines, but at the middle of the road in terms of "bet per line".

This means, if you're playing a penny machine that has about 20 lines, and allows up to 5 cents per line, you should be betting 2 or 3 cents per line be the equivalent of $0.40 per spin. Be wary of machines that have 100 or 240 lines, since you'll find yourself wasting a fortune without realizing it. (betting 5 cent per line on a machine with 240 lines: $0.05 x 240 = $12 PER SPIN)

Take THAT into consideration next time you think penny and nickel machines are "cheap". Likewise, the maximum payouts on penny machines can be $10,000 or higher.

IF you're worried about having to haul tons of coins to a counter, don't be. A vast majority of the machines in Las Vegas now print out tickets that can be redeemed at a Cashier's window or at the various ATM-esque machines (said machines can also break bills, so if you don't want to throw a full twenty into a machine, or if you want change for tipping cab drivers, it's really handy. biggrin )

If you're going to play poker, Pai Goh(?) or roulette, you'll definitely want to read up on your odds, the winning hands, etc.

With roulette, don't be fooled by the electronic board some of them have that display previous winning numbers. Like the lottery, any number has an equal chance of coming up at any time.

I wouldn't recommend playing Keno, but you're free to try it. I've heard too many stories of people losing at it, and VERY VERY few stories of anyone winning. Honestly, you'd probably have a better chance of throwing a hundred dollar bill out of the window and having a bag stuffed with millions of dollars hit you seconds later.