in my dreams i'm always dying. but something was different this time. Usually when i die there are many people that cry because I was taken for granted. I don't know what happened. I just walked down a road and ice lightly took the road and the sky was a light gray. the cities were empty and so were the houses, pictures of people in the houses where all i did was wonder where they were now, and why did they leave. i saw wrecked vehicles and other messes everywhere.
i was alone and sad. ready to die and my heart was hurting so much. i walked further and further hopelessly searching for something but all it was was a barren land. i walked more and more and in the horizon there was a solid black line. i took a car and drove over and reached the line and i saw to reveal a massive wall. i couldn't see over it and it looked like it was trying to keep things from getting in. i pressed up against the wall and heard people on the other side. i knocked but no avail. i looked toward the sky and there was sunshine on the other side. i wanted over there but it seemed i was not allowed. i walked along the wall and eventually saw a window. i looked through it and saw green grass and rich ground with happy people, one being my lover. i could see her amidst her friends and she was happy, alive, successful. and then there was me. alone, in a land of death, dying, unnoticed, and a failure. I knocked but again no answer. It wasn't the place wanted to keep things away. just to keep me out. I was making everything worse.
All I wanted was some attention, to be seen and be thought of as something positive. soon the window became fogged up and soon i wasn't able to be seen. but she was happy right? i was replaceable, expendable, and really that's what i could expect. i wasn't left alone, just left behind. happiness was out of reach and didn't miss me. as long as she had what she has there is no use for me.
Just pass over, I'll just be your shadow. Once had a voice but am now mute. I'll just listen and record on my own book. But every time I look the pages are empty and the pages are becoming worn. i just want to be a part of your sun for a while. its hard to be a part of the group and get none of my feelings across or have no open mind willing to hear. Its hard to speak when everything said is considered wrong. its hard not to cry when you're at the bottom of hole and no one will come for you. I'll just lay in my stone armor and wait like always. i hope i can have my turn soon. the sun is bright but not enough to illuminate the cave i seem to always be in. maybe my warranty has expired. am i just here til i can be replaced? should i have been better? what could i do different? what can i do to be remembered? my eyes are burning and the tears are hotter then the summers blaze. whatever my sentence be i still plead for mercy. i just wish to be seen for who i am and not my face value. can you stay long enough to save me? can you heal me from the pain and bring light to the shadows? can you show me the things I've missed while under ground? show me the things I've never known? let me feel the things I never felt? Can I please see the sun again?
Red Glacier Community Member 
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Community Member