Murphy's Love Laws
All the good ones are taken. If the person isn't taken, there's a reason. (corr. to 1) The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you. Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant. The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them. Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position. The best things in the world are free --- and worth every penny of it. Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction. Nice guys(girls) finish last. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.
Any great truth can -- and eventually will -- be expressed as a cliche. A cliche is a sure and certain way to dilute an idea. For instance, my grandmother used to say, "The black cat is always the last one off the fence." I have no idea what she meant, but at one time it was undoubtedly true. Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at. Malpractice makes malperfect. Neurosis is a communicable disease. The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky. Nature abhors a hero. For one thing, he violates the law of conservation of energy. For another, how can it be the survival of the fittest when the fittest keeps putting himself in situations where he is most likely to be creamed? A little ignorance can go a long way. Learn to be sincere. Even if you have to fake it. There is no such thing as an absolute truth -- that is absolutely true. Understanding the laws of nature does not mean we are free from obeying them. Entropy has us outnumbered. The human race never solves any of its problems -- it only outlives them. Hell hath no fury like a pacifist.
Serena Magik Novello · Wed Nov 02, 2005 @ 06:18pm · 2 Comments |