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I can relate, to an extent, though I know some of what may be wrong with my body, have a good idea what will be wrong with my body in ten to twenty years, and dread certain things going wrong with my body. At least you can go to the doctor, but I'm one of the nearly 20% of Americans under sixty-five without insurance, so until the System improves or I get back into college and land a career that offers insurance I'm pretty much hosed. Very sad journal post, and I feel very bad for you, which means I must be a halfway decent person because that's taking time away from me feeling sorry for myself. That was a joke, but I think probably not a very good one.