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In these fews years of self observance ive been examining my life and trying to better myself from trial and error. but i soon realized i dont have tht much time, i cant trudge through life just expecting it to get better. In back of my head i sorta had this idea tht i was immortal. I never realized that what i have will be taken away from me so abruptly. No more trying, no restarting, this is the only life i have, it shoudlnt be wasted as i feel i have been doing.Im am not necisarily scared of death yet, i just feel that it happening by anything other then my own hands would be a horrible tragedy...i suppose that goes along with trying to control my own life, but at what cost will that be attained with?