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This year we won't be celebrating Christmas.
Why?
Parents are broke.
Is that a real reason?
No.
Will it mattter?
No.
I get to leave the house in less than 3 months.
Where am I going?
Not sure.
What else?
I finally admitted to myself that I can't run nor hide from my feelings.
So I guess my heart is still weak.
Yes,I still love Robert.
You can all lay off.
None of my other relationships worked because my heart and mind always went back to Robert.
What did I gain?
His friendship.
Was it worth it?
Yes. Very much so.
Will it matter?
Yes.
Now I don't have to be in denial.
How does he feel?
...He isn't sure.
I can live with being as close as a friend.
I'm not desparate.
But I can only wish to have him back.
Will he read this?
Maybe ,maybe not.
Do I mind ?
No.
Was this all disturbing?
Nah.