Warning! Emoish rant below >.>
It finally happened, I finally realized just how very ALONE I am. It was despairing.
I got sick, very sick last Friday. It started just as a stomach ache, then the fever came. I was home alone of course. My son spends Friday nights at my parents' sometimes. This was one of those times. But my mom had told me she'd stop by in the afternoon to get his pajamas.
So when I felt feverish and in pain, I just took some pills I had in the kitchen. Trusting that my mom would come anyway. Well she didn't, and then I realized I didn't know where my cellphone was. I have no house phone, haven't have one in years.
I must have dropped my cell in the car on the way home. But there was no way I'd go outside to look for it now, it was dark and I was afraid to walk all the way to my car, I was too dizzy.
So laying there, in pain and with a fever of 103, I felt more alone than I've ever felt in my whole life. The tears came, must've been the stomach ache. It wasn't because I was afraid of the pain, nor because I wanted someone to take care of me. It was because if something happened to me, if this stupid illness killed me, no one would even notice. The world would go on.
Nothing happened, it was the longest night. But I was mostly fine in the morning. My mom came, she brought my son and he brought me a flower from the garden.
Lluvia Maya · Fri Nov 14, 2008 @ 04:38am · 8 Comments |