... and a pretty crummy start to a birthday so far it's been, but hey, I got a resolution for my newly 18-year old self.

Start learning to be goddamn happy and drop this pissy-image I've attained. It's relatively better then being told I look sad all the time, but not much better. I also need to start watching my swearing again, it's gotten a bit out of hand.

I don't exactly want to be meek anymore, though.

Agh, discerning the person I want to be is confusing...

Well I'm looking forwards to dinner tonight. Everyone except Dustin is a for-sure. It is slightly saddening he can't come, but I am happy everyone else can make it.

I hope I can feel stellar by tonight. And I will go to school FOR SURE tomorrow! I absolutely, absolutely need to.

I think in order to make my life better, I need to start stepping forwards and doing something about it, because who else can do that but me? I keep relying too much on other people to support me, and as a result I feel like I'm sucking out their happiness. I really don't want to do this.

I am still upset about how my parents are being about my birthday though. I really want that party... maybe they'll change their mind but I don't have too much hope... I got to try, though.

Well I should head to bed for now, then re-update this entry later tonight. Ciao. ♥

Update:

So the dinner went splendid, even if a very minor issue was nagging at me. Everyone except one person showed up, and we had a very good time and took silly pictures and ate good food and CHEESECAKE~ ^_^

I felt very pretty in my black dress with those shoes I bought, even if my heel bled all over the place because my skin tore open. I'm pretty used to it by now though, it just makes it hard to walk.

Ah, Colin bought me Tales of Vesperia~! >.< I told him not to, but he did anyways. I wanted him to, because I wanted that game so bad, but I felt guilty that he spent so much on my gift because he already bought me one. That should be in Tuesday, also! I'm going to wear it lots. ^^

I'm happy to have such good friends who are there for me...

... even if I'm disappointed in a person for their negligent behavior...

Tomorrow I'm going to the mall to re-buy some socks (maybe a better pair this time anyways) and exchange that shirt for a smaller size, and maybe buy something else while I'm there! Heehee.

Well time to hit the hay.

I think things are a little better already. I'm getting a party afterall! Either at Mason's or Gabby's, have to see what's going on. Also, I really want to hope this year will bring something good for me.

... I have such a wish... How dearly I want it to come true. Maybe, just maybe...