Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

"Procrastinate now, don't put it off." -Anonymous
"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."-Anonymous
"Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now."-Anonymous
"Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think your on drugs."-Anonymous
"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay."-Anonymous
"He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost, But Miles From The Next Exit."-Anonymous
"Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window." -Anonymous
"don't regret doing things, regret getting caught"-Anonymous
"You will be aroused by a shampoo comercial."-Homer J. Simpson "
They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?"-Anonymous
"You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try." - Homer J. Simpson
"I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down." Anonymous
"I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight"-Anonymous
"Consciousness- that annoying time between naps"-Anonymous
"Maybe this world is another planet's hell"-Anonymous
"There are 2 types of pedestrians, the quick and the dead."-Bumper Sticker
"Learn from your parent's mistakes use birth control."-Bumper Sticker
"Adults are just kids with money."-Bumper Sticker
"Always Remember: You're Unique, Just Like Everyone Else."-Bumper Sticker
"How to store you baby walker, First remove baby"-Anonymous
Manufacturer "Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl." - Bill Peterson, football coach
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." - Britney Spears, Pop Singer
"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese." - Charles De Gaulle, former French President
"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago" - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President
"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!" - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the concept of a manned mission to Mars
"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." - David Acfield
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." - David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes
"Can you get a ticket for running a stop sign that is not there?" - Driver school applicant
"Boxing's all about getting the job done as quickly as possible, whether it takes 10 or 15 or 20 rounds." - Frank Bruno, Boxer
"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight." - George Gobel
"I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is exploding." - Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons
"I have a God-given talent. I got it from my dad." - Julian Wakefield, Missouri basketball player
"Solutions are not the answer." - Richard Nixon, former U.S. President
"SAFETY FIRST: Please put on your seat belt - prepare for accident." - Sign on backseat of Taxi.
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods... On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?) On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's 'just' a suggestion!) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?) On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.) On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!) On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...) On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.) On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...) On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this...) On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)