I 'm not sure why, but i DO know for a fact that crying is the quickest way to wear yourself out. I have discovered.. that when I get too emotionall... and then I cry.. and it hurts, but when I'm done.. I'm too tired to feel sorry for myself anymore.
So, it's a good new/bad news type thing.
Well... life.. that's still an issue I'm dealing with. DO NOT WORRY.. I'm not suicidal ! I'm just... tired of living.. and hope that life clears up soon. I'm too much of a wimp to EVER commit suicide. Besides.. I've gone through 4 friends of mine killing themselves.. and now I see how far THEY are in life. [/morbid sarcasm]
So. My best friend deserts me.. I have to start hanging out with a prospective husband, who I absolutely adore.. but, I would rather be out dating and enjoying the last year or two left I have of being a teenager, but at the same time, I just want this marriage thing to be officialized, or decided one way or another.. at the moment.. it's all "no discussion till Sasha gets older", but at the same time.. it keeps getting brought up. WhO KNOWS???
On top of that.. I have to look at college, figure out how to pay for college, prep for all these stupid tests that I have to take.. and then DEAL with the fact that my best guy friend in the world (who was going to go to college with me) decided to VOUNTEER himself to go overseas to Afghanistan as soon as he graduates. And then, to boot, he decided not to move back to GF for his senior year. So, he lives 6 horus away, I'm not allowed to visit him(via mom), and then HE"S GONG OFF TO WAR! I might only get to see him once or twice before that. I can't handle this!
YOu know.. in the sheme of things, most of my teenage drama really won't matter. When I have a kid, and she ends up like me, THEN I"ll be able to relate to her, and tell her that it really isn't that big of a deal...
BUT.. how to you tell the puppy that pupy love isn't real? Beats me... hence why it's an issue.
So.. now that I've done my nightly ranting ritual, which will make NO sense in the morning, because I'm typing all of this in between crying over a song that relaly just reached down and grabbed me..I shall head off to bed.
But, I really don't want to go to sleep. Sleep means that when I wake up, it'l be morning. When THAT happens, that will mean that I have yet another day of this life to make it thought. Granted, some days are easier than othes.. . but that doesn't make it peachy.
Good night dear peaches..
Note to peaches: show up in my life more often!
Note to self: FInd and destroy all non-obedient peaches
Sasha NOelle
Phoenixispink Community Member 
|
|
