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Welcome to my Interests thoughts and other things that may go on in my wacky head.

-Sora aoiro-
Community Member
Seeing things Differently? Want to be different?Bad title...
Some people are the best at talking, when you just sit there and listen to them you Kinda wish you could have that skill of being a motor mouth sometimes. You wish you could relate or join in, If you do join in you get caught up in the conversation and just forget what the heck you were talking about and you get quiet. I've talked to a lot of people well not really talk but listened. Sometimes they can talk about the stupidest things and I kinda wish I could find the right crowd to hang around with. Sometimes I wish I wasn't apart of life, people around me make me feel unwelcomed like I'm some type of Alien. What I've noticed is As I get older I care more and more about my Appearence, Am I Beautiful, Do they think so?. I Mess around with my hair and change my clothing to fit in with the crowd. My aunt thinks I look weird just because My skin Isn't completely white, You don't have to be light skinned to be beautiful I know that.I'd disagree with anyone who thinks that but it's their opinon. I know that I never will because I am way to different. What they talk about, is something I could never talk about, I'm not social, I live in my room and Basically do nothing, but think. I want to die a lot of the times and have come a little close to it, Their is always that one person who loves, cares and worries about you. That person who likes you for what you are even though you may not. They keep you going even though you see no point in going any further. They pick you up off the ground and give you something. You only Need one Good Friend to keep you happy. You won't be satisfied, but you won't be drowning in Depression. I have done some "Emo" stuff if you want to call it that. The word Emo irritates me, I hate it when people call me or someone else that as a Joke. It could really hurt someone, I know from a friend of Mine. When everyone tells you Don't go We'll miss you, we need you..we ...love you..you think that they probably are just saying that to comfort you, But. There really are some people who mean it. You figure it out when they panic and keep telling you things and get worried when they cant contact you. What bothers me is I'll never know when my friends are dead. Especially the ones online, No one is going to take the time to tell me so I might as well make it the Best time I have with them. I really wish some people would Know that their not alone, I too think that I am by myself, but I've kinda realized how ridiculous I'm being. I only wrote this because I read A friend's Journal and it just made me want to write this. I want to go because I'm tired of being Made fun of, or being hurt by a loved one, Or to hear those nasty comments about me. Well Have to face that A lot of other people have it worst and well...everyone goes through something..bad. I'm not trying to put anyone down..in this entry I just wanted to say how..I feel I guess. Keep telling myself I'm not alone but if I ever do do Suicide I know I'll regret it, or maybe I'll be happy..I'll never know. When something gets Bad for me it seems like the Perfect way To escape.

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